I'm Never Changing Who I Am
by Butt3r
Summary: At Rachel's party, Blaine and Finn shared a few drunken moments, but the relationship that developed after is much deeper than some drunken fumblings. Neither of them want to hurt Kurt, so their friendship remains a secret, until Blaine finds himself sobbing onto Finn's chest in the McKinley Locker room. This is my first gleefic and Blinn is my absolute fave crackship. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1. Rolling in the Deep.

Blaine slipped his grey sweater vest over his head and threw it on his bed. He was pacing frantically and felt hot and confused. He ran his hands through his stiff gelled hair. 'Why did I do it?' he asked himself aloud. He pulled his Dalton Academy tie from his neck to loosen it and then undid three buttons on his shirt. 'I have to make it right.' He stopped pacing and stood behind his computer chair, too frightened to open his mac because of the backlash waiting for him from Kurt's friends and especially from Rachel. They weren't meant to get caught and no one would have known or expected it, they could have kept it quiet if neither of them had been so dumb and could have avoided it totally if Blaine hadn't gone with Kurt to Rachel's party or turned up at McKinley today. He bit the bullet and flipped open the laptop, still standing up, he hunched forward to open up instant messenger, facebook and tumblr.

"Blaine Warbler. I can't believe what I saw today. Shame on you! How could you do that to Kurt? You have a lot of explaining to do. " Was the first message to pop up on Facebook. It was Mercedes, he knew she was a really close friend of Kurt's. Probably his best friend and she had been the one who had stumbled upon them. He pushed his hand through his hair once again, his hands shaking slightly from the shock of the whole day. He wanted to ask her why she told him, what she saw, how could she jump to conclusions like that, but he couldn't lie anymore. Every conclusion that had been jumped to was the right one, and for that Blaine felt truly guilty. He wished he could put his hand on his heart and say "It was an innocent hug between friends. Nothing has or ever will happen between us." But he couldn't.

He flicked his browser over to tumblr and began to scroll down his dashboard looking for a post from Kurt. There was a picture of the two of them together, taken a few days after Rachel's party. They looked so happy. Kurt's arm was affectionately draped over Blaine's shoulder, and Blaine's arm was tight around his waist. Kurt had added something though; "What becomes of the broken hearted?" written underneath. He considered what he could do in response. An anon inbox would be cowardly, a fanmail would be equally cowardly. So he made a decision and reblogged it and added "I'm so sorry, Kurt. Answer your cell please?" He'd tried calling at least 20 times to try and talk to him, to reason with him, but Kurt wouldn't answer this time. He was probably crying into an Alexander McQueen scarf whilst Burt tried to comfort him. The thought of it made his heart break. Kurt had been through so much, with death threats and dumbass homophobes at McKinley, but he'd stuck it out, he had friends to defend him and help him and the teachers had been great. Kurt had been considering transferring to Dalton for a while, but had decided to stay at McKinley, he said he'd miss his friends too much, and the cut of the blazer wouldn't suit his physique. Blaine smiled at the recollection of Kurt's explanation.

He checked facebook again and had messages from Santana, Quinn and Puck.

"I don't know what you did to ladyface, but when I find out I'll cut up your bow tie collection one by one whilst you watch and cry, you weird 50's throwback." He imagined Santana's voice cutting through him as she said it.

Puck simply wrote "dude. not cool."

But Quinn's was different.

"Hey Blaine. I know you're probably expecting a seething message about how much you've hurt Kurt. But I want to tell you I understand. I've been where you are because of cheating, and whilst I don't condone it, I can't judge you. You seem like a nice guy and you were probably confused and of course I totally understand the attraction. There's just something about him isn't there? Anyway, if anyone is giving you a hard time, you can call me or write me on here. I'll listen. Everybody needs a friend sometimes. Q xx"

He sighed with relief, at least someone understood. He hadn't expected it, but it made a dent on the aching he felt all over his body from anxiety. No messages appeared on his wall, he was openly gay, nobody at McKinley really knew him and he was accepted at Dalton, and for that he was lucky.

He decided to reply to puck, hoping he might be another one to understand.

"Puckerman, listen to me. I didn't mean to upset Kurt, he's such a great guy and I really, really like him. I didn't mean for him to be so hurt."

They'd only been dating for about two months, but at that party, before they'd even started talking about their feelings, Blaine had done something stupid and kissed Finn on the lips, in the hallway of the berry household and then they'd done more. Suddenly Blaine remembered Finn, he isn't even out as gay or bi or bi-curious or whatever he identifies as. He frantically types Finns name into the search bar and there he is. He clicks on his page. He scrolls down through the messages. It's full of the hate-filled ramblings of homophobes and assholes from McKinley. Who Blaine didn't know personally, but he knew existed from Kurt's experience.

"heard you're a faggit now too?" "maybe some of that kurt kids gay rubbed off on you!" they were all equally venomous and stupid.

Finn was online, trying to delete the messages faster than they appeared on his page, but couldn't keep up. Blaine noticed when one disappeared but two more popped up. Blaine pulled out the chair and sat down heavily.

"Finn. I'm so sorry this has happened." Blaine typed quickly into a personal message with Finn.

Then Finn's name turned black and he couldn't click it anymore. Had he deleted him or blocked him or deleted his whole Facebook? Blaine felt even worse. He felt responsible.

He sat with his head in his hands for a moment. He felt selfish, how could he be thinking about him and Kurt and not Finn? He started calling Finn. When there was no answer he cursed and slammed his phone on the table. Suddenly his ask box on tumblr had 20 messages.

About 17 of them were from anonymous users, asking him how he could dare break Kurt's heart. He expected they were followers of his fashion blog, there to defend Kurt against the evil cheater Blaine. But then there was one from an anonymous who signs his name.

Finn was in his own room, laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. He's just deleted his facebook to avoid his friends, McKinley students, and Rachel. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to explain and he didn't want to make a scene. He felt bad that people got hurt, he felt bad for sweet Rachel, who was also sort of pushy and scary and Kurt, who was his brother, who he had defended from Karofsky but then hurt himself.

He wanted the bed to just eat him alive, to just fall into the mattress and be found by archaeologists in 500 years' time. Then no one would be hurt, Rachel would move on with her dreams, Kurt would forget and forgive Blaine and everything would be great. His phone buzzed and wouldn't stop, so he pulled the sim card out and switched it off. He couldn't stop thinking about Blaine, but he didn't want to bother him, maybe if he just ignored them all it would go away. But he had to know, he had to make sure Blaine was alright. He started to think about what could be going on with him, if the assholes at McKinley wouldn't leave him alone, and he'd had texts and calls from all of new directions asking what was going on, Blaine was probably going through the same. He knew Blaine had a tumblr, he'd looked on it sometimes to see him when he missed him. He pulled his laptop onto the bed from the floor and logged on. He found the link in his history after some searching and saw the picture of Blaine and Kurt with the text underneath. He opened the little box to contact him and began to write:

"hey, I hope your ok. I cant answer the phone and I had to delete my facebook because, well you know why. I hope your ok. Im sorry blaine. I didn't mean for it to all come oujt and I hope I haven't ruined things for you and kurt. Sorry for not picking up man- Finn."

He pressed send. It was rushed and full of typos he knew Blaine wouldn't like. The corner of his mouth curled up into a smile at the thought of Blaine mentally correcting the errors.


	2. Chapter 2

Considering Blaine knew nobody but Kurt at the party, it was pretty cool and he'd had fun, especially when he had to kiss Rachel. For a girl in a mint green frock, she was good a great kisser, and for a moment he wondered if maybe he was straight. But then Finn caught his eye.

_ "You're so tall." He'd slurred, staring up at his massive-in-comparison frame. He stood clumsily but wasn't drunk like Blaine. Blaine noticed but tried to use it to his advantage and Finn, after a while of flirty smiles and light conversation had found Blaine sort of charming. Blaine noticed Finn had left the basement, so decided to try his luck. He excused himself to go get some air, Kurt tried to accompany him, but Blaine told him no. "Stay with your friends! I wouldn't want you to miss anything." He stumbled from the room and found Finn walking down the hallway, back to the party.  
"Oh hey, Finn, I was looking for you." He said, eyes down, sort of embarrassed by how forward he was after too many wine coolers. He leaned heavily on the wall, then second guessed himself and moved away from Finn to let the taller boy pass and get back to his friends.  
"Hey man, you okay?" Finn looked slightly concerned at Blaine's downcast eyes.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." He tried to move away, but Finn touched his arm. It sent shivers through Blaine's body, Finn felt him shudder and bent down slightly to look into the shorter boys eyes. Blaine said nothing, but on impulse he grabbed Finns hand, and led him into the room they were standing in front of. Finn opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but before he could utter a syllable Blaine had reached up, placed his arms around Finns neck and was drawing him in to kiss him. Finn didn't push him away, he didn't object, it was actually pretty good. They stumbled to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, their lips still together, Blaine's tongue enticing Finns from inside his mouth. Suddenly, Blaine pulled away, feeling a pang of guilt that he was forcing himself onto Finn. _

_"Wow." Finn murmured audibly as Blaine struggled to stand up. "Oh…" Blaine looked genuinely shocked at his actions. "I am so…oh gosh…sorry." Blaine said, falling all over his words. He wasn't sure if it was the drink or how electric he felt after kissing Finn. He began to back away towards the door but Finn got up quickly to stop him.  
"Wait." Finn said, seriously but softly. "Why did you do that?"  
"That was way out of line, I'm sorry Finn. We like, just met and I… that was so unlike me." It was. Blaine was usually a play it safe, flirt for a few weeks to get some signals kind of guy. Finn was used to being more forward, but usually he was the one making the moves, this felt like an entirely different experience for them both. It was confusing, but also so real and vivid. Blaine felt sober as he looked up at Finn, who was now standing in front of him.  
"Can I do it again?" Finn asked his eyebrows slightly furrowed. Blaine gave a silent nod, and once again their lips were locked, they were on the bed, and their hands were gliding effortlessly over each other's torsos. _

Blaine took a deep breath. He was considering jumping into his car and going over to the Hudson-Hummel house, but then decided that would be really weird. The whole family could be there, Burt would yell at him for upsetting his son, Finn would feel so awkward, and he couldn't bear to see either Finn or Kurt upset. Instead he changed into a white vest and pair of jogging pants and crawled into his bed. It was only eight pm and yet he felt more tired than he had in his life. He considered what he could do to take his mind off of the whole thing, until Kurt decided to speak to him, or he had a way to talk to Finn he would just have to wait. He contemplated going for a work out, or playing his guitar for a while, but then when he was willing himself to move, he just couldn't. Instead he let his mind wander and consider why and how he had put himself in this position.

_"It's not about what organs you have, you know?" Finn stated, pacing the room slightly when Blaine had asked what Finn thought they were doing in one of their many phone conversations. Blaine was sitting on his own bed, legs crossed and listening intently, like he always did when someone else was saying something important to them. "It's about you Blaine, just like it was about Quinn and rach. I don't care that you're a... You know, a dude." Finn slumped down onto his own bed and said in a hushed whisper; "I think you're awesome and I like your hair and how you... Um... Make me feel? Like fuzzy inside." A smile broke out across Blaines face, he could imagine Finn, with his eyebrows furrowed, thinking hard. "You're awesome too, Finn Hudson." Blaine sighed and laid back into his pillow. "Really awesome." _

Since the party they hadn't been able to steal any moments with each other, Kurt was a demanding boyfriend, but they shared knowing glances with each other when Blaine was visiting the Hudson-Hummel household and they texted and called and IM'd and facebook messaged each other a lot. They talked about everything; they knew secrets about each other that neither of them had told anybody. They gave each other advice about fitness, and talked about football, and their hopes and dreams and pasts. And there were always those 'what if' conversations.

_"Blaine Warbler: Kurt is asking me to come over._  
_Finny D: you should cos I don't get to see u enough_  
_Blaine Warbler: But you don't *really* get to see me._  
_Finny D: Its good enough. _  
_Blaine Warbler: But it would be great if I was coming to see you. _  
_Finny D: it would but looking at you from across the dinner table or in the living room is good enough._"

The both instigated conversations like this by accident often, but were then wracked with guilt, when they realised how much it would hurt everyone if they knew, but they couldn't help it.

Blaine drifted into a light, restless sleep until his phone buzzed beside him. He moved the screen towards his face, his eyes felt thick from sleep. It was 12:01 AM and the caller ID was unknown. He hesitated, but decided to answer.

"Hello?" his voice croaked a little from its inactivity and he heard a low hum through the receiver.

"It's me." He could tell Finn's voice from anywhere. He was whispering, like they both had in so many of their phone calls.

"Finn…" Blaine breathed. He felt his entire body relax a little more into the bed. His shoulders felt less tense and his jaw ached from unknowingly clenching it for hours.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello. Just wanted to thank people for reading. I've written a longer chapter to hopefully get the story going a bit more, and fill you in on some stuff. Please don't just read, but give me a review as well! I would really love to hear some opinions on the story and my writing even if they're negative ones! Thank you :)**

**Dsclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee or any of the characters in this story. **

* * *

Chapter 3 - There's a Limit to Your Love

Mercedes had been walking to her Spanish class with Puckerman when she realised she had forgotten her text book.

"I have to go back to my locker. Tell mr schu I'm really sorry and I'll be a couple minutes."

She smiled at puck and turned on her heel. Her locker was fairly close to the classroom so she wouldn't miss much of the lesson. They probably wouldn't even start before she arrived. She began to happily hum and then quietly sing Irreplaceable by Beyoncé as she walked quickly down the hall, looking at the floor at where her high heel high tops were taking her. She arrived at her locker, collected her book and began to return to her classroom. As she reached the climacting "So since I'm not your everything, how about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you, baby I won't shed a tear for you, I won't lose a…" she stopped singing. Something caught her eye in the small window in the door of the boys' locker room as she was walking past it. So many girls were grateful for that tiny window that allowed them to see just a sliver of their crush as they glanced towards it whilst walking past. She did a double take and stepped back towards it, looking through the narrow pane of glass. "Blaine?" she whispered, puzzled over his presence at their school. It was Blaine, standing in there looking worried. She moved towards it and was just about to knock to ask if he was okay and why he wasn't at Dalton, when Finn emerged from behind one of the lockers and sat on the bench in front of Blaine. He put his hands on the younger boys' hips and pulled him close, nuzzling into his chest. They hugged tight as Mercedes' mouth fell open. She continued to watch as Finn stood up, opened his arms and enveloped Blaine into them and kissed him on the forehead. They were facing away from Mercedes, but the sound of her dropping her textbook and fumbling to pick it up startled them. Blaine met her eyes. His eyes looked red and teary. "Oh my..." She hurried to pick up the book and rushed away, Blaine pushed Finn away and ran towards the door and after her, but she was safely inside her classroom by the time Blaine could reach her. That was the last Finn and Blaine had seen of each other. When Mercedes sat heavily in her seat, she decided she had to tell Puckerman what she had seen. The shock of it all was just too much and she was about to burst.

"Maybe you saw it wrong? Maybe they were just two dude bros hugging it out?" Puck shrugged. They were meant to be having a conversation in Spanish about where the closest football stadium was, but Mercedes couldn't concentrate.

"If you had seen it puck, Finn like, kissed his forehead. They looked so into each other." Mercedes shook her head as they left the class. "I have to tell Kurt." She clutched her books and turned right out of the door.

"Tell me what?" He beamed at them and bounced on the balls of his feet. "I'll tell you in a minute." She was hoping in the time it took to get to glee, she would have come up with another reason the boys looked so cosy with each other. They began to walk to glee together until Mercedes stopped outside of her locker again. "Kurt. I need to tell you something... Don't be mad at me. I'm going to tell you exactly what I saw, and you can take it or leave it. Okay?" Kurt nodded slowly, he had no idea what Mercedes could tell him that requires this seriousness. She opened her locker, placed her books inside, closed it and took the deepest breath she could.

"I saw something... someone… with Blaine."

"What? Where? At McKinley? He doesn't even go here." Kurt looked at Mercedes. Out of the whole glee club, he trusted her most. If Santana or Rachel had told him he wouldn't have believed it. "Who? What were they doing?" he added, trying to sound less panicked than he really felt.

Mercedes sighed. She hated to be the bringer of bad news, especially to her best friend Kurt, who she loved so much.  
"He was in the boys locker room, and he looked upset, so I was about to knock to find out why he was at McKinley and not Dalton and what was wrong and if he was looking for you, when Finn came out of nowhere…" She fumbled with her hands, looking down at them then up at him periodically.

Kurt breathed sharply "Finn?!" He placed an open palm on his chest. "Finn Hudson?" He stammered. "W...what... What were they doing?"

Mercedes shook her head. "They hugged and Finn kissed him on the top of his head. But then they saw me, so I ran to class." Mercedes breathed out, exhaling all of the pressure of being the messenger.

"Maybe it was just a friend thing?" Kurt said hopefully. "Friends hug all the time."

"I don't think so..." Mercedes responded. "But I guess you have to ask them." She placed a comforting arm around her friends back to lead him towards the choir room. Puck shrugged when Kurt looked at him, slacked jawed, for a response.

Finns absence from glee spoke a thousand words. By the end of their hour together, the whole room knew. And Rachel was already performing Toni Braxton's Un-break my heart.

Kurt arrived home, parked his car on the driveway and walked towards the house. His stomach ached with nerves and his hand shook as he fumbles with his keys to find the one that would open the front door. Their parents wouldn't be home yet, but Finn would be. He didn't know what to say, how to ask, how to even look at his brother.

He slid his key into the lock but the door opened before he could twist it.

"Kurt..." Finn said breathlessly.

Kurt pushed past him and walked into the kitchen, he wanted to escape from Finn. He didn't want to hear what he had to say and if he could, he never wanted to look at his step-brother again, but Finn followed him. Finn stopped in the doorway, so after Kurt had grabbed an orange juice from the fridge, he was unable to leave the room.

"Let me out, Finn." Kurt said defiantly, staring at Finn's chest because he couldn't bear to look at his face.

"I need you to listen." Finn pleaded. "Please, this is the last thing I'll ever say to you if you want it to be."  
Kurt took a step back, stood still and eyed the taller boy whilst folding his arms across his chest.  
"Shoot." Kurt said in his most unimpressed voice.

"It was my fault." Finn fumbled with his hands, his eyes pleading as he explained, the words falling effortlessly from his lips, just like he'd been rehearsing for the hour before Kurt arrived home.  
"You have to forgive Blaine, he's totally distraught man. It was totally my fault, I was just experimenting, you know and it was a one-time thing and it wasn't even anything other than a few kisses. He came to McKinley to confess to you, because he felt guilty and wanted to clear his conscience because he loves you man, but I was trying to make him not do that." Kurt breathed in sharply. He felt a string of relief run through him. He knew Blaine wouldn't have kept it a secret unless Finn made him.

"So it was just the night of the party? And it wasn't..." Kurt paused and switched his voice to a low whisper "…ess-ee-ex?" He had to clarify, so then he could hear it from Blaine and he and his boyfriend could return to some normality after the craziness of the afternoon and glee club. He could forgive Blaine if it was just a drunken fumble, and he had wanted to come clean.

Finns face dropped.

"Ew no." Finn pretended to be repulsed at the thought of sex with another man, when in reality he had thought about sex with Blaine countless times. He felt his chest begin to heat up as thoughts of Blaine's body crept into his head. He shook them away so he could focus solely on Kurt. For this to work he had to sound sincere.

"So you're not gay?" Kurt raised his eyebrows. "And you decided to use the guy I was crushing on to test it out?"

"I'm not gay. And I'm so sorry it was him, I know I could have chosen someone else, even you for all it matters, but I didn't and it was a mistake." Finn watched Kurt blush and raise a hand gently to his chest.

Finns insides twisted as he realised what he was doing. He was softening the blow for Blaine. He was taking the blame and he didn't even care. "Let them hate me, but not him" he kept repeating in his head until it became a mantra of sorts.

"I can't forgive you that easily Finn. You could have ruined everything I have with the love of my life." Finn knew Kurt could get angry and could hold a grudge, he was fully prepared for the full force of his step-brothers outburst, but Kurt just stood quietly, toying with the collar of his shirt, waiting for a parting comment from Finn.

"Kurt. I am so sorry. I will continue to be sorry for the rest of my life, until you either forgive me or I die. Please don't blame Blaine, I started it." He shuffled away from the door to let Kurt through. Kurt walked through to doorway towards the stairs to his bedroom but stopped when Finn gently touched his arm. "Kurt, please forgive him." Sadness filled Finn's voice. Kurt nodded slowly, turned away and walked up to his room, sobbing quietly.

Finn lay curled into a ball under his duvet with his phone rested on the side of his face.

"Blaine, I told him everything." He said, voice shaking slightly.

"Everything?" Blaine asked, he spoke a little louder than Finn, between his bedroom and his parents room was Coopers' room, a home office, a small gym and a games room, which really only had a piano and a few bean bags in. His parents were probably not even upstairs yet, his dad spent hours in his study working and his mother was probably still watching Desperate Housewives.

"Yeah, I told him it was all my fault and that I led you on that one time because I was experimenting and when you were at McKinley you were there to confess to him but I forced you not to." Finn's voice was laced with sadness.

"Finn... Why would you say those things... you told him you used me?" Blaine felt a lump rise into his throat. Finns explanations would only cause implications for him. He would be the one side-eyed by the whole of glee club for being a traitor, manipulating and using Blaine. Blaine's body became tense and anxious again.

"I had to think of the best way to protect you Blaine." Finn said and Blaine could hear the numbness in his voice. Blaine's stomach ached thinking about Finn and what he would go through.

"You shouldn't have. I would have done it. I would have come clean and chosen you Finn." Blaine choked out. There was silence for a few moments as they collected their thoughts and considered the situation.

Finally Finn responded. "Come on man, tell me you thought about me first." Finns eyes began to sting with angry tears. "Tell me why you didn't run back to the bathroom but you followed Mercedes and then left the school?" The tears began to roll over the bridge of his nose and down the side of his face as he lay on his side.

Blaine fell silent. He felt ashamed at how right Finn was.

"I wasn't ready." Blaine choked out.

"It could have been our chance." Finn said, Blaine could hear the frustration in his voice, and imagined him balling his fists in the covers to release some of his anger.

"It still could..." Blaine sobbed. "We're not finished." He said with false hope.

"We are. I'm sorry." Finn pressed the end call button and flipped his body over onto his stomach. He pushed his face deep into the pillow and grabbed both sides to hold it over his face. He sobbed into it for almost an hour, until his eyes finally gave in and he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for all of the interest in my story and the reviews. Let me know if there's is anything you want to see as well. I have plans for a Kurt POV chapter and the general storyline, but ideas are so welcome! **

**Enjoy! **

Chapter 4 – Let's face the music and dance.

Finn woke up from a restless nights' sleep with puffy eyes and a sore head. He was so grateful that he wouldn't have to face anyone from school until Monday, and hopefully by then people would have another scandal to care about. He had decided to continue faking sickness until Monday came, when it would be time to face up to things, but until then he just wanted to hide, play call of duty and maybe eat a tonne of Cheetos. He stumbled into the small bathroom that adjoined his room and raided the cupboard for some Tylenol. He threw two in his mouth and drank some water to help them down and then crawled back into his bed. At around 10 am, Carol softly knocked on his door.

"Come in." He said in his best sick voice.  
"Hey honey." She sat gently on the side of his bed. "Still not feeling well?"

He rolled towards her and nodded. She nodded back and placed a hand on his head. It didn't feel hot, she frowned a little.

"You don't have a temperature. What's wrong?" she asked, concerned. Finn didn't usually fake, and she guessed she knew her son well enough to know when something was up.

"I didn't sleep great last night. I have a headache and I feel tired." He mumbled slightly, causing her to strain to listen.

"Is something else wrong? Did something happen at school?" she rubbed her hand gently up and down his back and waited a few moments for a response.

He shook his head and she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. She knew sometimes getting Finn to talk about things was like squeezing blood from a stone, and if this is one of those times then maybe it was just best to leave him.

"Okay honey." She kissed his forehead and stood up off the bed. "I'm going to the store in an hour, do you need anything?" She said as she walked towards the door and opened it.

"...Cheetos." he whimpered. She closed the door behind her, smiling and shaking her head slightly.

For Blaine though, things would have to go differently, as much as he wanted to retreat into a shell of sleep and junk food he couldn't He was thinking of heading back to Dalton early, but then he got a text from Kurt about meeting at the Lima bean to talk. He knew he had to face the music. If Finn wanted him to tell Kurt it was all his fault, then he felt like he had to. He didn't want to make things worse for Finn and maybe by saying it was just experimentation on his part, people might go easier on him. Blaine woke up aching and still tired. He showered and dressed himself in a white shirt, red pants and his favourite deck shoes. It was already almost midday. Every time he remembered Finn's conversation his heart sunk into his feet. When he first woke up, he had thought it was a dream, but after checking his call history 5 times, he realised it really was over. Everything that happened meant he had potentially lost one of his best friends, maybe even his closest one. Blaine wondered how Finn could be so ruthless about it, but deep down he knew why. Finn didn't want to wait any more and Blaine couldn't bring himself to let Kurt down. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe they could all move on and be normal. Somehow, Blaine doubted it, but maybe today he would tell Kurt he wanted a break. He resolved to tell Kurt that they should take a break from their relationship, to both cool off and have a little time to think about what they wanted. He had a conversation planned in his head by the time he reached the Lima Bean to meet Kurt. But the problem with planning conversations is that the other persons' response isn't always what you'd expect.

The first thing that threw Blaine was Kurt's hug when they saw each other. He came straight over, and threw his arms around him, like nothing had happened.

The second was how Kurt didn't even acknowledge yesterday, Blaine's presence at McKinley, the conversation he had with Finn… he was his usual chatty self, telling Blaine about glee club and asking about Dalton. After getting their coffees and sitting at a table for two people, Kurt could feel Blaine withdrawing slightly.

"Okay." Kurt said, halfway through a description of a fabulous jacket he had seen online. "I guess we have to talk about you know what." He sighed and ran his finger around the rim of his coffee cup.

"We don't have to, I mean, I thought you'd want to…" Blaine quietly replied with his hands placed in his lap and his head slightly lowered.

"I thought I did. But Blaine, I forgive you. I mean, we weren't even dating properly, and I'm not mad at you for kissing Rachael, so it would be hypocritical to be mad at you now." Kurt sighed, looking at his boyfriends face.

"Kurt, I'm not sure…" Blaine said, stopping to allow Kurt to interrupt.

"Finn told me everything; all I need for you to tell me is that it's true." He waited for Blaine's response. Blaine took a deep breath, weighing up the outcome of every response he could give.

He could go with "Finn lied. It was both of us and I loved it." Then he could watch Kurt crumble, receive a coffee in his face and then never speak to Kurt again for hurting him, or Finn for making it all so much worse for him.  
He could say "Finn is the innocent party, it was me." And get a coffee in his face, but also lose all contact with Kurt and any hope of ever being able to speak to Finn again.  
He could pretend to faint or say his phone is ringing. Or he could just tell Kurt what Finn told him to say.

"What Finn told you was true; I was drunk, he was curious. It was silly, just like how I kissed Rachael." Blaine steadied his breathing which was beginning to waver through emotions. "I came to McKinley so I could tell you because I kept having anxiety nightmares over you finding out and something worse than this happening. But Finn found me first and tried to convince me to carry on lying."

Kurt nodded and smiled weakly. Blaine felt terrible but ecstatic at the same time. He was so glad his boyfriend was willing to forgive him, but at what price? Everything felt wrong, but he was so relieved things could return to normal. Blaine forced the most convincing smile across his face and took his boyfriends hand across the table. Kurt beamed back at him.  
"Come on, I wanted to head to the mall for a while." Kurt let go, stood up and threw his bag over his shoulder, holding his hand out for Blaine to go with him. Throughout their day together, Blaine felt happy. He couldn't deny that he loved spending time with Kurt and loved his voice and his face and his smile and laugh, but at the back of his mind he felt incredibly guilty. He wrote the feeling off as a hangover of yesterday. This was what everyone wanted so Blaine felt obliged to go along with it.

They had a good day together, Kurt seemed happy and that made Blaine feel better, but when he was alone that night, watching a rubbish movie, he didn't feel so good any more He let his mind wander to Finn, and what he was doing tonight, and then Kurt and why he had even forgiven him and everything that had happened the day before when Blaine had gone to McKinley. He regretted that so much.

Almost a week ago he had been sat in the common room with Sebastian, Wesley and David, talking warbler stuff. They had a concert soon, which would be a dry run for Regionals, where they would face New Directions.  
"Do we have to do Katy Perry again?" Sebastian rolled his head. "There's only so much a man can take." He smiled his wicked grin at Blaine.  
"You literally just want to do a One Direction song because you think the one with curly hair is hot!" Blaine interjected pushing Sebastian playfully and laughing.  
"Guys, we have to go hard or go home." Wes said frankly. "We have to really kill this performance and I think a massive pop hit is definitely the way to do that." He looked back down at the piece of paper he had been jotting things down on. Blaine was fiddling with his phone in his right hand, twitching it around, holding it up to rest on his chin and then putting it back down, unlocking it to check if he had any messages. Sebastian noticed.

"Waiting for an important call?" Sebastian asked, nodding towards the phone.  
"Not really, just the boyfriend." Blaine lied and placed the phone gently on the armrest. Sebastian nodded and the subject quickly went back to their upcoming show. After a few minutes, his phone buzzed loudly, by this time Sebastian was standing up, showing his ideas for their performance. He heard the buzz and lunged for the phone, grabbing it just before Blaine could. He quickly drew it up to his face to look. Blaine leapt up after him, swiping for the phone.  
"I thought your boyfriends name was Kurt?!" He said and ran to the other side of the room and Blaine quickly followed.  
"Come on Bas! Give it back." Blaine jumped on Sebastian and wrestled him on to the couch. Blaine was much stronger than Sebastian had assumed and got the phone back easily after a little rolling around. He stood up slightly embarrassed by what had taken place and sat back in the seat.  
"If you two are quite finished…" David said, looking at them pointedly. Sebastian straightened his blazer, checked his hair and sat back next to Blaine.  
"That was fun." He winked and Blaine pulled a face at him. "But who's Finn? You two seem…pretty close?"  
Shit. Blaine thought. He'd been able to read the text, or maybe some of the others. Blaine threw his head back in frustration.  
"He's just a friend." He said. He didn't want to go into it, no one knew he even had a friend called Finn, let alone that he was his boyfriend's step-brother and they had fooled around at a party.  
"He's a friend? That you're dying to see?" Sebastian asked. Wes and David were busy on the other side of the room, thinking of some steps they could perform to a song Blaine didn't know yet.  
"Please, drop it Sebastian." Blaine whined.  
"Oh no, I can't just drop it. This sounds like my kind of thing." He smiled again, nudging Blaine for answers.  
Blaine began to explain the situation, but played down the feelings he felt for Finn in an effort to make it all seem much more neutral.  
"You sly dog!" Sebastian said, "I did not have you pegged as that kind of guy." Sebastian was still grinning, his hair carefully quiffed, moving along with the way his head moved when he spoke.  
"I'm so not that kind of guy." Blaine said quickly. At least he thought he wasn't that kind of guy.  
All day Sebastian was dropping hints to the rest of their friends about Blaine's situation. It made Blaine feel uncomfortable and he wasn't his usual self. He didn't feel like bubbly Blaine, he felt like heavy, dull Blaine.

Talking it over with Sebastian made him realise the seriousness of what he and Finn were doing, the texts, the phone calls, the feelings. For ages he thought the "I want to see you soon." and "what if's" were innocent. From Monday until Friday the guilt and tension built up inside of him and he couldn't stop thinking about it, until an offhand comment from Nick about how even texting someone else in a relationship is cheating made him crack. He decided that they all knew, and they were all judging him. Sebastian must have told them all and they would eventually tell Kurt.  
"I have to go." He told Sebastian as he was packing his laptop and a few clothes into a bag in their dorm room. "I don't feel well, I have to go home." Before Sebastian could even open his mouth to find out what was up, Blaine was rushing down the hall to his car.  
He called Finn, who had just finished football practice by the time he arrived at McKinley. He knew what he was doing was dangerous and would have repercussions if anyone saw him, but it was the middle of a school day and he was sure everyone would be in class. And he couldn't wait. He had to see Finn and now. He vaguely knew the grounds of McKinley from a couple of visits with Kurt and made his way to the boys locker room when he found out Finn was alone and waiting there for him. He managed to make it there undetected by going through the entrance that backed onto the football field, and Finn was waiting for him by the door to let him in. Blaine pushed past him into the room and looked panicked.

"What are you doing here?" Finn looked full of worry and enveloped Blaine into a hug.  
"I couldn't put it off any more, I had to see you." Blaine said breathlessly into Finn's chest, clutching him tight.  
"Some guys found out about us at school, and I think they might tell Kurt." He said, tears forming in his eyes. Finn clenched his fists and moved away.  
"Oh... What do we do?" he said, resting his head on a locker. "I guess we have to stop." He said, sadness filled his eyes and he moved towards Blaine, and sat heavily on the bench in front of him.  
"I don't want to end it." Blaine began to sob hard, so Finn placed his hands gently on his hips and pulled him close. "I want to tell Kurt, but I don't know how. I don't want to hurt him." Blaine said as he placed his hands around Finns head and ran his fingers through his hair.  
"God, I've missed you." Finn's muffled voice said, breathing deeply to take in Blaine's presence and his scent. Blaine let out a choked sob and Finn stood up from the bench, pulling him into an embrace.  
"It'll be okay." He whispered into Blaine's forehead. "We'll be okay." He kissed it gently, and then they heard a thud outside of the door and saw Mercedes face, her mouth wide open.  
"Oh no." Blaine said, pushing himself off of Finn and running for the door.  
"Blaine!" Finn said, loudly trying to grab the boy's arm, but he was out the door, and Mercedes was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks again for all of the reviews and visits and things :)**

**Tried to do a Kurt-centred chapter, but obviously it's still very Finn related. **

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Ch. 5 - I'll be there

Finn would have to face Kurt at the table for breakfast. He wasn't sure if he would get through it, but he knew he had to try. He'd always been the strong one, telling people to believe in themselves and blah blah blah, but now it was time to practice what he preached. He looked at himself in the mirror, studying his pale tired face.

"There may be trouble ahead..." He began to sing as he washed his face with the spot stuff Kurt had given him for his birthday, smiling weakly. He knew everything was hanging by a thread, his relationship with his brother, his friendships and his position in the glee club. He had to regain some trust and he decided the only way to do that was to take the abuse, absorb the insults, not react to the whispers and accept the countless slushies he was bound to receive to the face. He packed a spare t-shirt in his school bag for that eventuality, fixed his hair and went to join his family for breakfast.

"Good morning honey. Glad to see you're better!" His mum kissed him on the head as he sat down in his usual place and placed a bowl in front of him, so he could choose the cereal he wanted to eat. He didn't feel hungry. In fact his stomach was full of nerves and he couldn't even contemplate eating whatever he was going to pour into that bowl. He decided to bypass his usual Lucky Charms and just have some rice krispies. Maybe the bland flavour would be easier to digest. Kurt kept his eyes locked on the magazine he had spread out in front of him on the table, completely ignoring Finn's presence, and Finn was grateful for that.

"What classes do you guys have today?" Burt grunted slightly, trying to open a new jar of peanut butter.

"Dad you shouldn't be eating that." Kurt said, without even lifting his eyes from the pages of Vogue.

"I'm opening it for Carole." Burt replied sharply and shot carol a glance. She rolled her eyes at him and shook her head smiling.

It felt like a normal morning, Kurt was usually preoccupied with a magazine, or book or blog post on his cell phone, Finn was usually concentrating on eating and figuring out what to do with his day, and their parents were chatting away, trying to get the boys talking and involved. Finn let out a sigh of relief when he could excuse himself after Burt had done so. He grabbed his bag and headed for the door, hoping to get out in time to walk instead of getting his usual ride with Kurt.

"Finn?" His mum called as she caught him sneaking out of the door. "Aren't you going with Kurt today?" She looked puzzled.

"I was going to catch the bus…I have to be there early, I have a test in second period that I forgot to study for." He nodded a little too enthusiastically and slid out the door.

About 20 minutes later, Kurt ran up the stairs and into the hallway, picked up his car keys and slipped his bag strap over his shoulder.  
"Finn!" He yelled up the stairs.  
"He's already gone." Carole responded as she walked out of the kitchen and picked up her own car keys to leave for work.  
"Did he say why?" Kurt asked, clearly puzzled by Finn's disappearance.  
"He said he had a test to study for." Carole kissed Kurt on the cheek, pushed an apple into his hand and ushered him out of the door. She was already in her car and backing out of the driveway, waving at him before he could unlock his own car. He sighed, got in and drove the 10 minutes to McKinley.

Kurt wasn't sure why Finn hadn't wanted a ride today, they always went to school together now, but obviously he was still worried about the whole Blaine thing. Kurt hummed as he drove, thinking about how he would approach Finn. He knew he should actually probably be angry, but he didn't feel that way, he sort of understood where Finn was coming from, trying to stop Blaine telling. He, of course, had been nervous about coming out himself and ever since then he had been on the receiving end of countless slushies', snarky comments and even a death threat from Dave Karofsky. It had gotten so bad that he had considered transferring, but with the help of Coach Sue, his Dad and even unexpected help from Santana Lopez, Karofsky had mostly stopped. It didn't mean the snarky comments and bullying stopped totally, the rest of the football and hockey teams' idiocy still proved challenging, but at least he could walk through the halls of McKinley without fearing for his life. But, he knew for Finn it would be hard. He knew what Finn would face, and Finn would need him more than ever. Obviously Kurt was upset and he felt betrayed by his step-brother, but what he had said to Blaine was true, they hadn't been dating and everybody does silly things sometimes, especially when they're scared.  
If only it hadn't come out the way it had, and the rest of the glee club didn't have such big mouths. Kurt sighed again as he got out of his car and Tina was waiting for him by the door. He grabbed his bag from the passenger seat and walked over to meet her.

"Good weekend?" she asked straight away. They both turned together and walked into the building.  
"Uh huh." Kurt nodded and remembered the day he spent with Blaine at the mall. "It was." He walked with her to their lockers and met Mercedes on the way.  
"Are you going to tell us what happened or do we have to ask?" Mercedes said bluntly, when the pleasantries were over.  
"I would." He said. "But I need to find Finn before class." Kurt walked away, leaving them both desperate for answers. He decided to try to choir room first, and then the library and finally he found him in the boys' locker room, showering his hair. Kurt approached carefully and picked up a towel from the bench to hand to Finn.  
"Slushy?" He asked, holding out a towel for his step brother to grab.  
"Yeah." Finn murmured, switching the shower off and taking a few steps back. He took the towel from Kurt, his head and eyes still lowered so the water dripped down his face and onto the tiles floor.  
"Thanks." Was about all he could muster. The blue dye stung his eyes, but he'd been on the receiving end of one of these a couple of times, so he wasn't angry, and he'd been expecting it anyway.  
"Finn…" Kurt said. Kurt watched as Finn slipped his soaking shirt over his head, it thudded to the floor and the tall brown haired boy straightened his back and began to dry off his torso.

"Kurt. I'm not sure why you're here, but if it's to laugh at me, or shout at me then go ahead." Finn continued running the towel over his body and then up to his head.

"I'm not here for either of those things Finn." Kurt shook his head, and clutched the strap of his bag. "I came to tell you that I understand. I understand that sexuality is a confusing thing for people our age. For the longest time I tried to deny my gay, but eventually I had to acknowledge it and then defend it." Finn paused his hair drying and looked confused at Kurt  
"I'm not saying you're gay, I'm just saying, by doing what you did you hurt me and I'm upset, but I understand, and I want to be there for you." Finn felt dumbstruck. Was Kurt even for real? Or was this a trick?  
"I think you made a mistake by trying to lie and make Blaine lie, but now it's all out and we can move on." Kurt carefully sat down on the bench and folded one leg over the other, then continued.  
"I saw Blaine on the weekend and we're giving it another go and I think it would be unfair for me to forgive him and not you, especially when you're going to need me, as a brother, just like I needed you."

Kurt finished his explanation, pleased with how it sounded and waited for a response from the so-far silent Finn. He waited and watched Finn pull a fresh shirt from his bag and put it on quickly. Finn shoved the wet shirt into a locker and turned to look at Kurt. He didn't know how to respond, so he just moved forward and placed his arms around him, pulling him up from the seat into a hug.

"Thank you." He whispered into his ear, his voice shuddering a little. As much as Finn felt for Blaine, he never wanted to ruin his friendship with Kurt and he felt ecstatic that Kurt would support him. As they were hugging the bell rang.

"Ready?" Kurt asked the tall boy in front of him.

"Yep." Finn nodded convincingly and they left the locker room for their first classes of the day.

It was a difficult day for Finn. Kurt knew it. No matter how he smiled and tried to cover it up, being pushed around was painful, but being called names cut deeper. By lunchtime, Finn was silent and withdrawn. His friends avoided him a little, in case they were to become the targets of bullies too, they smiled at him, but they didn't look at him or talk to him like they had before, and Mercedes and Tina would not stop side-eyeing him and scowling. Kurt could see it, he saw Finn hurting, but apart from comforting words and telling people to go away or stop looking, he didn't know what to do. He knew Finn needed more friends right now. Kurt knew first hand that there is only do much you can deal with alone.

"Can I sit here?" Quinn asked, pulling out the seat opposite kurt and Finn.  
Kurt was surprised; she was the first one who had been willing to sit with them at lunch.

"Um... Sure." He said, happily.

"I know what it's like." She paused after taking her seat. "To be looked at, and quite frankly I miss it." She smiled slyly and began to eat.

"How can you miss it?" Finn asked quietly after a few moments. "It's pretty annoying." He looked at her in the eye, something he hadn't done for a while.

"I guess I had a lot to be stared at for." She shrugged "… it starts to feel normal."

Kurt smiled as the conversation began to flow more freely. Soon Finn was talking and even smiling properly as they all spoke, but lunch ended.

"I'll meet you at my car after school." He said to Finn as he left him. Was he babying him? Kurt didn't really care. His last classes went without much to write home about and soon he was unlocking his car and climbing inside to wait for Finn. After around 15 minutes he began to worry and started to dial his number and call him, when he came storming across the parking lot.

"Oh my God..." Kurt breathed as Finn got in. He looked at him carefully. His right hand was clutching some tissue to his nose and his eye looked like it was swelling, and tinted a grey-purple colour.

"What the heck, Finn?" He asked his eyebrows furrowed at his stepbrother.

Finn looked out of breath and tilted his head back to try and stop the blood from falling from his nose any more.

"Don't worry. Let's go." Finn said his voice dark and angry.

"Who did this?" Kurt asked, moving his hand towards his step-brothers' face. "Did you retaliate?"

"It was one of the hockey guys. And no, I took it and walked away. I couldn't do anything because then I'd get in trouble and I'd get asked questions."

"Finn… You can't just ignore it." Kurt said, concern in his voice. "You have to tell someone."

"Kurt, drop it." Finn turned to look at him. "I don't want to do anything." Finn continued to hold his nose and gestured for Kurt to start the car and drive.  
Kurt sighed and shook his head, twisted the keys in the ignition and began to drive them home. It was one of those times where he wished Finn wasn't so stubborn. The drive home was awkward and silent. When they got there Finn went straight to his room and Kurt made an excuse for him later at dinner. "He doesn't feel well again. Same as the weekend I guess." Kurt shrugged at his dad and Carole when they asked. Carole frowned a little and nodded. Kurt could see that she knew something was up, but tried to act as normal as possible, asking them about their day's and telling them about his.

Later that evening, Kurt called Blaine. He wasn't sure if he felt comfortable talking to him about Finn, considering their past, but he wasn't sure what else to do. He was worried for his brother, but maybe talking to Blaine about him wasn't the best idea. He decided to avoid talking about him, and they had a perfectly normal if not bland conversation, and then said their goodbyes. Kurt decided to go and see Finn, to make sure he was okay.  
He knocked on his bedroom door slightly awkwardly and waited for a muffled "come in." He opened the door gently and went into the room. Finn was sitting on a beanbag playing his xbox. He paused it when he saw Kurt and looked at him expectantly.  
"I bought you some food and something to make your face better." He handed him a bag of frozen peas, a grilled cheese sandwich and then pulled a tube of cream from his pocket.  
"It's a tinted moisturiser." He said waving his hand. "It'll take the edge off of that eye." He said and smiled, looking down on Finn.  
"Thanks dude." Finn took it and placed it on the floor next to him.  
Finn felt uncomfortable with how nice Kurt was being. He would have felt better if Kurt had shouted at him, or even been the one to punch him in the face, but he knew Kurt wasn't like that. They spoke for a few minutes, and then Kurt retreated to his room, to do a little homework and then begin his bed-time routine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you all again for reading and reviewing and following this story, please continue to do so!**

I don't own glee or any of the characters in this story ( sadface ) 

Chapter 6. Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? 

Blaine had arrived back to Dalton on Monday morning. He was perilously close to being late for class so he arrived already dressed, threw his bag into his room and stumbled through his day. At 6, when he had finished his Spanish study group, he returned to his dorm that he shared with Sebastian. Sebastian was doing some homework lying on his bed when Blaine gently knocked and then entered the room. He threw himself onto his bed, face down. He loved the familiar smell of his dry-cleaned Dalton sheets. This room that he shared with Sebastian felt more like home that his parent's big house did. Their room was white, with a big bay window. It had a seat in the window, then 2 desks and 2 bookshelves on either side. Blaine's side was perfectly clean and tidy. He liked to keep it tidy. He had photographs of his parents and a signed portfolio shot of his brother, pinned to a corkboard behind his desk, an excel – created and colour-coded schedule in a frame on his desk and his books, CD's and DVD's were organised mostly alphabetically. Sebastian's side of the room was a little more lived in. His cork board had "To Do:" written on the frame, and was a collage of men he found attractive enough 'to do'. His books, CD's and DVD's rarely found their way back to the shelf, but Blaine didn't mind. He actually really loved having a room-mate as laid back as Sebastian. It reminded him that spontaneity was just as important as organisation, and some of that had rubbed off on Blaine when it came to his social life, but for school he couldn't leave his schedule and sticky-notes behind.

"Rough weekend?" Sebastian asked, taking his eyes off of his laptop and lowering his thick rimmed glasses. Blaine mumbled something into the covers, refusing to lift his head.

"And what on earth was Friday all about? You just ran out like your ass was on fire." Sebastian closed the laptop gently, leaving it resting on his slender knees.

Blaine rolled himself over so he was facing the ceiling and shuffled his body up, so his head was hanging off the bed, upside down. His face began to go red from the blood rushing towards it, but it felt weirdly comfortable.

"I went to see Finn." Blaine sighed heavily.

Sebastian threw his laptop off his legs and towards the bottom of his bed. He propelled himself forward so his legs were folded underneath him and placed his hands over his mouth. Blaine giggled at his friends dramatic actions.

"Yeah..." Blaine sighed again. "…Although it didn't change much." He turned himself over and moved backwards, so he could rest his chin on his arms, folded in front of him.

"What? Are you crazy?" Sebastian blurted.

"I guess everything you said made me think." Blaine threw his arms over the side of the bed, dropping his head back into the covers. After a pause, he turned his face to the side, said. "And I guessed you told all the guys, it was bound to get back to Kurt eventually." He then turned it back, so once more his face was buried into the bed.

"Blaine!" Sebastian moaned. "I didn't tell a soul!"

Blaine's head shot up quickly, he looked at the boy sitting opposite him. "You didn't?" Blaine said, soaking the information in. He sighed. "Well it's done now. Nothing has changed anyway. Kurt gave me another chance, Finn made it clear he wanted nothing more to do with me..." Blaine sat up, mirroring Sebastian's posture; legs folded and chin resting on his right hand.

"So this is good… right? You wanted to stay with Kurt, yes? You said the thing with Finn was just a drunken thingy."

"I guess." Blaine said, pulling his arms up to loosen his hair from its stiff gelled style.

"So why are you moping?" Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows and rocked on his butt a little, trying to get a better look at Blaine's reaction. "Unless it isn't what you wanted... B, why are you being so cryptic? Like literally, when I want something, or someone, I try my hardest to go get it, no matter what."

Blaine laughed.

"I'm definitely not as ruthless or forward as you, Bas. And I'd die if anyone got hurt. They all made it clear that the way it was before was fine, so I have to respect that."

Sebastian went quiet, his eyes wide.

"Oh my God." Sebastian breathed. "This is just like High School Musical…Stick to the status quo!" Sebastian began to laugh quietly at first, but was soon clutching his stomach laughing.  
Blaine couldn't help but join in. "One guy plays the cello!" Sebastian yelled as he rolled over, his cheeks ached from laughing.

"The cello! What is so taboo about a cello?" Blaine said between gulps of air. "…and the guy that bakes!" The two of them laughed together. "Can you imagine, bursting out in song all over Dalton!" They laughed even harder. Blaine's sides ached and both were gasping for air. As they were trying to regain their composure, David's head popped round the door.  
"Guys, we're watching a movie in the common room if you want to join."  
"Only if it's high school musical." Blaine added, and they both started laughing again, almost crawling to the common room to join their friends and watch a movie.

Blaine's week crept along, he found himself urging Thursday to hurry up, when the Warblers would be performing their Regional set list, mixed in with a few other songs for some parents, teachers and other students. For the first time in a long time, he felt nervous about performing. In their various practices he had made a couple of unprecedented mistakes, he got some lyrics wrong or moved the wrong way. He found himself more and more distracted when people were talking to him. After their final full run through on Wednesday, when Blaine had taken a step right instead of left in one of their songs Blaine felt and looked utterly deflated. When everyone had left the room, Wes pulled him aside.  
"Blaine, I'm not sure what's going on with you, but you seem like your head is just somewhere else." Wes looked concerned for his friend.  
"I'm so sorry, Wes." Blaine looked down, but then back up quickly. "I'm going to keep practicing tonight, I won't mess this up for us."  
"Don't apologise. We were just worried about you and you don't have to assure me that you can do it. I know you'll be great, but if you need help, or to talk, then I'm here, as usual."  
Blaine gave a small smile, Wes was always great at being reassuring. Blaine felt a little less heavy when he knew that his friends were there for him.  
"Can we just go over the steps for that one again?" Blaine asked, the corner of his mouth turning into a smile.  
"Sure. I'll call Seb, David and Thad back too. I'm sure they wouldn't mind." Wes smiled brightly and put his bag back down. He walked towards the door and whistled, and they all filed back through the door, chatting and laughing. A grin spread across Blaine's face. They practiced for another hour. By the end, not only did Blaine feel ready to perform, but he felt happier. Instead of the fairly serious practice they were all used to, the informality of this one did them all good. The pressure of performing had gotten to Blaine, but having fun with it had reminded him why he loved performing so much. The guys all left Blaine there. He told them he wanted to practice singing for a little longer. He sat at the grand piano, running his fingers gently across the black and white keys.  
"What shall I sing..." he said quietly to himself and the empty room, playing with a few keys, listening to the sound for inspiration. Then it came to him. He began to play the melody and then added in the chords and then began to sing, quietly at first, but progressively louder.  
"I have...I have you breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck, I don't…don't know what you could possibly expect under this condition so..." His fingers moved more effortlessly across the keys as he continued singing, feeling the song more with every line.  
"Slow down… this night's a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you, I see the world could be burning and burning down, dark blue…" He moved the whole of his body to the music, standing and then sitting when it felt right.  
"We were boxing; we were boxing the stars…" His voice felt loud and powerful, he felt utterly liberated, singing a song that meant so much to him, with no one to perform to. "If you've ever been alone, you'll know… If you've ever been alone, you'll know." As he came to an end, he couldn't wipe the grin from his face. He slowly lowered the lid of the piano, picked up his bag, and jogged from the room, still smiling.

Finn felt like a ghost walking through the halls of McKinley. He had discarded his letterman jacket in favour of checked shirts and clothes that he felt would make him blend into the background. So far, since Monday he had been Slushied at least once a day, twice on Tuesday. He took the punishment each time, somehow convincing himself it was deserved. Most of his friends were still ignoring his existence, apart from Quinn, Kurt and Puck. Rachel looked away and bit her lip every time he was around; Mercedes, Tina and Artie fell into hushed whispers and judgemental looks, and the other New Directions member's seemed fairly indifferent.

On Monday, when Rick 'the stick' Nelson had thrown the punch at Finn, Puck appeared from nowhere and helped Finn up, dusted him off and told Rick to back off. Finn left without saying anything, but later they had spoken over xbox live, Finn thanked Puck, Puck said "no problem man." And then everything was normal. They played a game of Call of Duty and killed people and that was it. Finn didn't have to explain himself, he didn't have to tell Puck why, or what had happened and Puck didn't ask, they just played a game. Later, when Finn was signing off he decided to say something.  
"Dude, why haven't you mentioned what happened?" Finn said.  
Puck sighed. "I've been a crappy friend to you Finn. I don't care what you did with Blaine, or whatever. It has nothing to do with me. My boy Kurt forgave you and who am I to judge?"  
Finn laughed lightly. "Cool. See you tomorrow then, man."

Even though Finn wasn't entirely alone, he sure felt it when he was being shoved into a locker for the 9th time that Thursday afternoon. It had almost been a week, and people were still calling him things and shoving him around. He couldn't wait for the end of the day, when he could go home, pretend everything was fine at dinner and then slink back to his room and watch T.V. But he had glee today and then tomorrow and then everyday next week in preparation for Regionals.

He made his way to the choir room, where he sat at the back with Quinn. Kurt was sitting up front with Rachel, today was his last chance to beat Rachel for a solo. Mr Schue came bounding into the room and everyone settled down.  
"Okay, Regionals." Mr Schue scrawled across the whiteboard. "Ideas, please?" Mr Schue looked around the room expectantly, but his shoulders slumped slightly when Rachel's hand shot up first.  
"If I may, Mr Schue?" She got up and stood in front of the group, her face morphed from a grin into a sad, sombre looking expression and she began her rendition of James Morrison's, the Pieces Don't Fit Anymore. The whole time she looked at Finn, who felt the most uncomfortable he ever had. Everyone could see her eyes gazing at him, welling with forced tears.

"Rachel, you weren't even with him when it happened." Quinn said when Rachel had finished. "Get over it already." She rolled her eyes and turned away. Finn gave her the smallest smile in appreciation.

"Quinn's right Rachel, even Kurt has forgiven Finn." Kurt nodded at Sam's mention of his name.

"What did that even have to do with the theme?" Mike Chang said quietly to Tina, but everyone heard. Tina shrugged and clutched her boyfriend's hand tighter.

Santana stood up. " I think it's about time we focused on regionals next week instead of hosting a week long Rachel Berry pity-party about relationships that didn't even exist." Santana added, then sat back down.

"It's not up to you guys when I will start feeling okay again. But in the meantime I would appreciate it if you would let me use glee club as an emotional and artistic outlet and gently and constructively criticise my solos and the emotion behind them. Thank you." She straightened her skirt and returned to her seat.

To Finn's surprise, Quinn raised her hand.  
"We want to sing something, Mr Schue." She moved down to the front of the room and was joined by Santana. Together they performed Dionne Warwick's 'Anyone Who Had a Heart.' It was incredible. Finn's mouth was slightly open the whole time. He was so used to hearing Rachel and Mercedes sing these huge love songs, that the simplicity and clarity of Quinn's voice, combined with Santana's power blew him away. By the end of the performance, Mr Schue was silent. The whole room was silent, until Finn began clapping with a huge smile on his face. Kurt looked at him with raised eyebrows, and Finn went quiet again.

All throughout Mercedes and Kurt's performances, Finn couldn't concentrate. The song had made him start thinking about Blaine. He'd managed to avoid it for days, but the lyrics from Quinn and Santanas performance just resonated in his head. Then he grew worried, what if they could all look at him and know how he felt about Blaine? He sunk lower into his chair, willing for the hour to be over.

"Finn, do you have anything prepared?" Mr Schue called on Finn, snapping him out of his daydreams and thoughts.  
"Uh no." Finn said. The eyes of the room were on him.

Mr Schue looked surprised.  
"What's going on?" He looked at Finn.  
"Nothing." Finn responded, sitting even lower into his seat. The rest of the group kept quiet, and then suddenly, their hour was up. They all slowly filed from the room, Finn being the last to leave after assuring Mr Schuester that everything was fine, but he'd been sort of ill and didn't want to have a solo in case he choked.

He slipped out of the door, staring at his feet as he rushed towards the door out of the school. He felt claustrophobic and desperate for clean air. Before he made it to the end of the hallway and into the safety of the parking lot, Mercedes appeared in front of him. His eyes fogged over as she began to speak.

"Listen to me Finn." She said, pointing a finger at Finn's chest. "I know what you told Kurt, and I know what I saw and I know that those two don't add up." She crossed her arms across her chest. Finn stared at her blankly. He didn't know how to respond because he hadn't even really processed what she said. He glanced around, the hallway was empty and her eyes wouldn't leave his face. He shuffled awkwardly.  
"Finn?" Mercedes furrowed her eyebrows.  
"Yes." He said a little too quickly. He felt stupid, like he'd forgotten his own name and Mercedes saying it had forced him to remember.  
"well…?" She moved her head forward a little.  
He nodded. Slowly at first but then sped up.  
"Yeah." He said quickly. "Call me." He stepped around her and walked quickly to the end of the corridor and out of the door. Mercedes was left, standing there, sort of stunned.

In that moment, Finn felt extremely lucky that he was so tall. His strides managed to carry him two blocks away before he even realised what Mercedes had been saying to him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all again, so much for reading and following and reviewing. I am loving writing this story and I'm so happy that people are enjoying reading it. I've listed the songs I've mentioned throughout this story so far at the end of this chapter (mostly because they're so good.)**

I don't own glee or the characters in this story. 

* * *

Ch.7 Anyone Who Had a Heart

Finn was walking home quickly. He glanced around a lot, with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He didn't have the protection of Kurt's car today. Kurt had rushed off to Dalton, to see Blaine in a concert and all Finn could think about was how badly he wished it was him. Finn's piece of junk car had broken down a couple of months ago, but he still hadn't gotten around to getting to the garage to fix it. Burt had offered to have a look, but Finn declined, he liked doing it himself, but he kicked himself now for not letting Burt help him. As he was walking, a car pulled up alongside him, and he was fully prepared to have to take a slushie to the face or even a couple of punches.  
Finn heard the electric windows lower and tightened his body.

"Want a ride?" Quinn's voice emerged from inside the car. Finn unclenched his body and turned around.  
"Thanks, but I'm almost home." He said a little awkwardly, pointing towards the direction of his house. He only had a couple more blocks to walk and he would be there.  
"Get in." Quinn said, sternly. Finn did as he was told. He sat low in the passenger seat so Quinn could see all of her mirrors properly.  
They shared a little small talk for a few minutes about regionals until they pulled up outside of Finn's house. The ride had been pretty pointless, but he liked talking to Quinn and she had been a good friend to him. Finn was just about to swing the door open when Quinn spoke up to stop him.  
"Finn…I wanted to talk to you about something." She said, her hands falling from the steering wheel and into her lap. Finn closed the door and sat back in his seat again, looking at her with a reassuring smile on his face.  
"I know you're having a hard time at school..." She paused, drawing in breath and Finn looked at her now with his eyebrows knitted in confusion.  
"…and I think, considering our past, you and I should maybe get back together."  
Before the party that was everything Finn wanted. Sam and Quinn had broken up, and Finn wanted a chance to be with her, but then everything with Blaine meant it didn't work out. Finn was speechless. He tried to form a sentence that would say no, but also make it clear that it wasn't because he had feelings for Blaine, or that he didn't like Quinn.  
"I mean, you loved the way I sang in Glee today." She said, twisting her body to look at him. "Not that it was at you of course." She began to feel a little flustered. "I just think that if we got back together, we could both benefit from it."  
Finn slowly nodded. "Can I get back to you on this?" He said, looking around the car a little to avoid Quinn's eyes.  
She stared at him for a moment longer, and then her face switched from serious to a friendly smile. "Sure." She nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
He nodded back and got out of the car and walked slowly towards his house, feeling utterly confused about what had just happened, and what he needed to do about it.

Kurt arrived at Dalton a little after six. He followed a couple, who he assumed were someone's parents as they got out of their huge Hummer and went into the building. Kurt had never really been to Dalton before so had no idea where he was going. When they reached the auditorium, there was a boy in Dalton uniform sitting at a desk.  
"Kurt Hummel?" Kurt said after the other two people had given their names and entered the double doors to take their seats.  
"Oh, you must be Blaine's better half." The slender boy smiled at him. Kurt nodded and smiled back, a little confusion on his face. Oh God, was he meant to know this guy? Was tonight going to be full of people he'd vaguely met wearing Dalton uniforms, but couldn't put a name to? He couldn't pretend he knew all of them, but would it be rude to ask their names? He just stood, smiling, for moment.  
"Sorry, I'm Sebastian, Blaine's roommate." He held out a hand to shake, and Kurt obliged.  
It clicked in Kurt's mind and he remembered, 'Bas' as Blaine called him.  
"Oh! Of course!" Kurt responded. "I'm sorry, I'm a little bad with names and faces and… well everything really." He said, half laughing.  
Sebastian smiled warmly at him.  
"Here, you're the last to arrive, I'll show you to your seat." He led Kurt to a seat in the aisle.  
"Thank you so much." Kurt whispered, trying not to disturb the rest of the people in there. Blaine had said it would be small and intimate, in reality, the auditorium was packed. It was like going to an actual concert, not just a warm-up for a show choir competition. The lights went down and Kurt beamed when his boyfriend bounded on stage to sing. All through-out the performance, Kurt made mental notes to relay to Blaine, but most of the time, he just stared open mouthed at his boyfriend and how amazing he looked and how talented he was.

Afterwards, Kurt was quickly re-introduced to most of the warblers and then they bundled into Kurt's car to go and get food. Blaine was on a high from his performance, talking quickly and shuffling around as Kurt drove them to a diner a few blocks away.  
When they arrived they went into the 50's style place that Blaine loved so much. He went there fairly often with friends or if his parents or brother came for a quick visit, and his gelled hair and bow-ties always made him fit in like a piece of 50's memorabilia. The waitresses knew him quite well, they were on first name terms, so when he held the door open for Kurt, and was greeted by Patricia with a wide grin and "Hey Blaine- sweety!" Kurt was sort of surprised.  
"You come here a lot?" Kurt asked through the side of his mouth as they sat in a booth and took their jackets off.  
"Yes, probably once a week." Blaine replied, folding his jacket in half and placing it down gently beside him. "The milkshakes are the best." He smiled at his boyfriend.  
"What did you think of the performance anyway?" Blaine put his elbows on the table and placed his hands under his chin.  
"You were great." Kurt smiled. "You guys are so infectious."  
Patricia walked over and stood by the table. "How are you sweety? Been anywhere nice?" She gently placed her hand on Blaine's shoulder.  
"I was singing at my school. Regionals is soon." He looked up at her and she nodded knowingly.  
"I remember you saying. How did it go?" She asked, smiling at him. Blaine pointed to Kurt.  
"I guess it's best to ask someone who saw it. This is my boyfriend, Kurt."  
She turned her head to smile at Kurt and he smiled bashfully back.  
"He was great, really great." Blaine reached across the table to hold Kurt's hand.  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, cutie!" Patricia was one of the most genuinely enthusiastic people Kurt had ever met. But something about her made him feel uneasy. It wasn't the way she looked, her auburn hair and blue eyes actually made her look quite beautiful. Maybe he was a little intimidated by how well she knew Blaine, but Kurt didn't know her. He'd never mentioned this place before, but if he came here once a week, surely it would have popped up in conversation.  
"And Blaine, I'm glad it went so well. I'll have to come and see you perform sometime. Anyway, I won't interrupt you anymore. What can I get you kids?" She slipped a small pad and pen out of the front of her apron.  
"I'll just have a burger and strawberry shake please." Blaine looked up at her and smiled sweetly.  
"Me too." Kurt said when she looked at him.  
"Great. Shouldn't be long." She looked at them both again, smiling and walked away.  
"So, what was your favourite song?" Blaine asked, fiddling with Kurt's fingers.  
"Oh I think my favourites are the upbeat ones, like Pink and the Boyband ones."  
"I'm sorry…" Blaine gave a shy smile. "I don't want to bore you by talking about it. How are your regional practices going?" Blaine asked feeling a little deflated that Kurt wasn't feeling as enthusiastic as he was. He put it down to the high of performing and listened to Kurt talk about his solo and who else had performed. He complimented Kurt in the right places, saying he was sure he was a shoe-in for a solo. He knew all of the songs Kurt mentioned, apart from the one Quinn and Santana performed.  
"How does that one go?" He interjected, forcing Kurt to a sing a couple of lines to jog his memory.  
"Oh I love that one. Although I don't think I've ever heard Quinn sing a solo." Blaine took a gulp of his milkshake.  
"It was very good. Someone else liked it a lot too." Kurt said as Patricia approached and placed their plates down.  
Blaine looked up at her. "Wonderful. Thank you." He smiled and she winked at him and walked away. He looked back to Kurt and continued their conversation.  
"I'm sure Mr Schuester liked it, but I doubt it was as good as you."  
"Oh no, I meant Finn. I think something might be going on between them." Kurt raised his eyebrows.  
Blaine's heart dropped into his feet. He made a surprised like noise, nodding and trying hard to swallow the bite of food clinging to his dry throat.  
"That's great." Blaine said when he finally managed to speak.  
"I know…" Kurt smiled. "I'm glad he's moving on. He's had a hard time…with all of this." Kurt shook his head a little, but then a smile quickly reappeared on his face. "I watched Coco before Chanel last night."  
Blaine let his boyfriend talk, explaining the ins and outs of the movie and then changing the subject to other things. Blaine ate a little more of his food amongst nodding and smiling and answering and asking questions, but most of it was just spread around the plate.  
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked after finishing their food and noticing Blaine hadn't really eaten much.  
"I'm great." Blaine forced a smile. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day."  
"I call it PPCD, Post-Performance-Come-Down." Kurt smiled sympathetically and Blaine laughed a little.  
"Let's get you home." Kurt paid their bill after shoving Blaine's wallet back into his pocket three times, and then drove him back to Dalton. They pulled into the stony driveway of Dalton, right outside the main entrance. Blaine had to be inside in 6 minutes, or he would get a disciplinary, and there was a teacher, lurking by the door, making sure everyone who had signed out for the evening was back.  
"I guess you're staying at Dalton this weekend?" Kurt asked and Blaine nodded.  
"How about I come to yours? What time does Glee end on Saturday?" Blaine asked, making a mental note of Kurt's 2PM response.  
"I'll come over, we can watch a movie or something." Blaine undid his seatbelt and opened the car door before leaning over to give Kurt a kiss on the cheek. He got out and waved as Kurt pulled away, then ran to the door and set foot inside 30 seconds before the teacher slammed the door shut, forcing any late-comers to ring the bell.

Blaine trudged back up the grand staircase and began the fairly long walk to his dorm on the other side of school. He hated himself for feeling so hurt that Finn was moving on. It was none of his business anyway. Finn didn't want anything more to do with him and Kurt was happy so Blaine should be happy. But the thought of Quinn's hands running through Finn's hair made Blaine's stomach turn. He began to hum to himself as he speeded up his pace, trying to get thoughts of Finn out of his head. What he really needed was something to punch, to get rid of some of the aggression he felt about his entire situation, but the gym would be shut for the night. He bypassed his room and instead went to the common room. It was empty, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep so he sat down, rested his head on the back of the low leather and stared at the ceiling. The room was dark, with only a small table lamp glowing in the corner. Blaine closed his eyes tight, willing the memories of that night with Finn to go away, but it didn't work_. Finn's body had felt so heavy against mine, I couldn't catch my breath once we were on the bed, his hair was so soft but his arms were so strong. He was holding my body like he'd never let me go again. And those lips, those soft and gentle but fierce lips that touched mine and sparked something inside of me that I might never feel again. He had this look in his eyes that was hungry but so much more…caring. And now Quinn gets to look at those eyes. Quinn gets to brush her fingertips across those lips and down that neck. _Blaine's head rolled to the side and his eyes stared out of the window, at the treetops illuminated by the moon.  
He pulled his phone from his jeans pocket.  
"Hey. Got home safe. See u this weekend I hope xxK" Blaine blinked hard, had it really been that long that he'd been sitting in here? He glanced at the clock on his phone and then on the wall. He had been thinking about Finn for two hours. It was midnight and he still felt wide-awake. He stared back down at his phone and flicked through his messages. He had kept some from Finn, under a different name, in the hopes that maybe he'd text him again, or just so he could read them when he felt like this.

"Everything reminds me of u. u looked great today btw. That thing u do with ur jeans is cute. F." That day they had been in the Lima Bean with a few other people. Blaine smiled whilst re-reading it. He remembered how Finn had had a sip of Rachel's coffee and made a grossed out face that day and he was wearing black jeans, but as usual he turned them up. He felt good that Finn had noticed.  
"I just stood in dog poop. Hope ur day is better than mine. F." Texts like this always made Blaine laugh, Finn was so good at laughing at himself a little and it had cheered him up that day.  
Blaine continued through the texts, smiling at each one. He began to feel a little drowsy, so pressed the buttons to lock the phone and stand up. As he was getting out of the chair his phone began to buzz. He looked down at the screen and his eyes widened. It was Finn. Finn was calling. He panicked and held the phone out, unsure what to do with it, relief swept over him when it stopped buzzing. To his horror it began again. He pressed the accept button and held it up to his face.

"Blaine?" He slumped backwards into the chair when he heard his voice. It had been a week, but he missed him so much.  
"Hi." He spoke softly. The panic that had swept over him disappeared, and instead he felt that familiar warmth he had felt every time Finn phoned him and they had to whisper or speak quietly.  
"Are you okay?" Finn said quickly, sounding slightly worried.  
"I'm fine, why?" Blaine asked.  
"You sent me a blank text. I thought something was wrong." Finn breathed.  
"I'm fine." Blaine shook his head. "How are you?"  
Finn was quiet for a few moments.  
"I hear you and Quinn are back together?" Blaine blurted out. "I'm glad for you. I hope you're happy together." That was the lie of the century. In reality Blaine hoped that they would be miserable together. He hoped whenever he told Quinn she was beautiful he was imagining saying it to Blaine, when he looked at Quinn's eyes, he wanted Finn to see his, and when she ran her fingers through his hair, Blaine hoped he felt him do it instead.  
"What does it have to do with you anyway?" Finn hissed. There was a pause as Blaine tried to think of something to say. He was tempted to just hang up, but then he heard a sigh.  
"I'm sorry." Finn said. "That wasn't cool…I shouldn't snap at you."  
"It's okay. I'm sorry I asked." Blaine replied, rubbing his face. "How come you're still awake?" Blaine asked. He moved his body round and lay down on the sofa, curling into a ball and savouring the sound of Finn's voice and his breathing.  
"I haven't been able to sleep much. I'm not dating Quinn by the way. She asked, but I'm going to say no. It wouldn't be fair on her."  
"Why?" Blaine asked.  
"…She only asked because she wants to protect me, she doesn't really like me." Finn replied.  
"Protect you from what?" Blaine sort of knew the answer. Kurt had implied that people were giving Finn a hard time, but he didn't know it was really that bad.  
"From the talk and insults, and the slushies and being pushed into lockers... " Finn replied, somewhat nonchalantly. It confused Blaine, Finn always stood up for his friends, so why wasn't he standing up for himself?  
"Finn, you should tell someone this is happening." Blaine said in disbelief.  
"I can't. Well I don't want to. I guess I deserve it." Finn said.  
"What?" Blaine said, louder than he meant to.  
"Maybe not deserve it, but it reminds me of you…I remember why they're pushing me into a locker and it makes me feel like it was worth it… it reminds me of what we had and that gives me strength." Finn took a slow steady breath. "I deserve it for letting you go, and hurting my brother."  
"Why didn't you let me take any of the blame?" Blaine said sadly. He felt his eyes begin to sting with forming tears.  
"I wanted to protect you." Finn's voice was getting quieter.  
"I was scared you hated me…I thought you were sick of waiting." Blaine let out a small sob. Through all of this he hadn't really cried, but talking to Finn was stirring up so many emotions. He was surprised by that. He thought he had been fairly successful in convincing himself that everybody wanted this and it was for the best, but in reality it wasn't. He liked Kurt a lot, but he could never feel for him what Finn made him feel and that was so confusing and also made him feel heart-crushingly guilty.  
"Never." Finn said sternly. "I could never hate you…If I could, I would do it all over again, but next time I'd be honest with you." Finn sighed. "I regret not telling you before you and Kurt had the chance to get together. Everything reminds me of you, Blaine. I just can't stop thinking about you. My head goes foggy and I can't hear anything around me when I start to think of you and that night and the way you smell and …" Finn trailed off.  
Blaine's body melted into a heap. He didn't know what to feel, but it was like someone had taken all of the sadness out of his body and replaced it with goose-bumps and longing instead.  
"You shouldn't be saying things like this." Blaine said, his breath hitching in his throat.  
"Why? Who's going to stop me? You?" Finn said. Blaine could detect the frustration in his voice. "I know you love hearing me say these things, Blaine. And I know you want to say them yourself but you're scared and confused and you feel guilty, just like I do."  
Blaine was silently chewing his bottom lip. Finn was right. He wanted to say something so badly, but the words wouldn't form from his head to his vocal chords.  
"…say something." Finn breathed and waited.  
"I think I love you." Blaine said, his voice slow and calculating. He felt fireworks explode between his ears and his heart pounded against his rib cage. It was exhilarating.

* * *

_Ch 1 - Adele- Rolling in the Deep._  
_Ch 2. - James Blake- There's a Limit to Your Love_  
_Ch.3 (I forgot to title this chapter *oops*) Beyonce- Irreplaceable _  
_ Toni Braxton- Un-Break my Heart_  
_Ch. 4 - Nat King Cole- Let's Face the Music and Dance_  
_Ch 5. The Four Tops - I'll be there_  
_Ch.6. Jack's Mannequin- Dark Blue_  
_ James Morrison - The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore _  
_Ch. 6. & 7. - Dionne Warwick- Anyone Who Had a Heart_  
Dionne Warwick- Anyone who had a heart


	8. Chapter 8

**I just want to apologise for how long an update took me, I've been on 2 holidays and still writing but it was all on my phone that temporarily died so I've had to do it all again alongside a job and dissertation! Hopefully no updates will have a gap as long as that now. **

**Thank you again for your continued support and reading and reviewing, but please don't stop! I love to hear what people think! **

**Enjoy!**

P.S I don't own glee or the characters. 

Ch 8. I don't want anymore heartbreak, I'm Tired of the Sound it Makes

Finn's eyes widened as he heard Blaine say it. His heart began to beat faster. Did he mean it? Finn had been so sure of his feelings but now, now there was this big word being thrown into the mix. Finn panicked a little. It felt good hearing it, and he willed the same words to fall from his mouth but they wouldn't. Blaine knew what the silence meant. He knew Finn's eyes would be wide, and his tongue would feel knotted, so he interrupted.  
"Blaine...I…" Before Finn could continue, Blaine interjected.  
"Sorry, Finn. I have to go." Blaine said quietly but the tone in his voice had changed. Even without the response he wanted, he felt light as a feather. The line went silent and Finn pulled his phone away from his ear. His eyebrows were knitted together but the corner of his mouth was curled up into a smile. He liked hearing Blaine say that.

Blaine woke when the sun was coming up and beginning to stream through the windows of the common room. He was still curled into a ball on the sofa, wearing his Dalton uniform. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust and realise he wasn't in his own bed.  
"Shit." He breathed, stretching his body as he stood up and stumbled to his own bedroom. When he gently opened the door and went inside, he was surprised to find Sebastian was awake, sitting at his laptop.  
"Why are you awake?" Blaine yawned as he toe-ed his shoes off, unbuttoned his shirt, took his trousers off and slipped into bed in his white t-shirt and checked boxers.  
"I have a paper due, so instead of staying up late, I decided to get up early." Sebastian spun around in his chair.  
"And you? Where have you been?" Sebastian rolled the chair over to the side of Blaine's bed and kicked his feet up, resting them on Blaine's butt, whose head was nestled firmly in his pillow to stop the light creeping into his eyes.  
"I fell asleep in the common room." His voice muffled.  
"I thought you might have gone back to Lima with lover-boy."  
Blaine groaned, he wanted nothing more than to sleep. As comfy as those couches were for sitting on, they were not a great place to get a good night's rest.  
"Nope. I couldn't sleep last night, so I went to the common room for a while, but fell asleep."  
Sebastian smiled wickedly and nodded. "Of course." He said. He removed his feet from Blaine's bed and went back to tapping away at his laptop.

Finn opened his eyes slowly and turned over. "Morning." A quiet familiar voice from next to him said. Finn looked over at the boy snuggled up in the duvet, his eyes were shut, and his mouth curled upwards into a smile, his hair a curly mess. Blaine shifted his body towards Finn and curled his small frame into Finn's much bigger body. It felt like a perfect fit. Finn rested his head on the top of Blaine's and breathed steadily, contentment flooding over him. Blaine smelt like sleep and the remnants of yesterday's aftershave and he looked incredible in the morning. Finn squeezed his arms tighter around him humming gently into his hair. Slowly, Finn fell back to sleep, a smile still on his face.  
He woke up again half an hour later and sat up quickly, looking around the room. He let out a heavy sigh as he realised it had been a cruel dream. He checked his phone for the time and suddenly remembered speaking to Blaine last night. Blaine had dropped the L bomb. Blaine had said it and Finn hadn't said it back. Does he text him or ignore him now or what? He flicked through his phone to his texts and noticed one he hadn't read, well not whilst in a conscious state anyway. Finn had a tendency to read texts whilst half asleep and forget they exist, it had gotten him in trouble a few times.  
"Hi. I'm sorry I dropped that on you last night but I meant it and I can't take it back now. I'll give you time to think. Call or text me whenever you want. Bx"  
Finn threw his body backwards into the mattress and lay there staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, until he had to push his body up and get ready for school.

Finn arrived at school with Kurt, who he hadn't been able to look in the eye all morning. The first strange thing he noticed was how people weren't staring at him when he walked down the hall to his locker. He wasn't pushed into anything, and he had managed to keep his shirt clean and dry all day. Karofsky had thrown a few slurs at him, along with his meathead friends, but when Finn had responded and told them to back off, they had. He'd spent lunchtime in the library studying and avoiding Kurt and Quinn. His day was just like it had been a week ago, before Blaine had showed up. He knew high school moved fast but he wasn't expecting to be forgotten about that quickly. When he walked into the choir room that afternoon, Artie called him over. He had his phone out and was showing Tina and Mercedes a Youtube video. It was of a guy Finn recognised from around the school. He looked dead serious and was talking to the camera about mythic creatures and looking for a mate, and then from underneath a desk he pulled out a wolf mask, put it on and began howling. Artie and Tina began laughing, clutching their sides and almost falling over. Mercedes looked at the screen, her face just a picture of confusion. Then it hit Finn. This poor guy, who had some sort of thing for wolves, was now the one who everyone wanted to shove into lockers and waste their ice cold drinks on. It also explained why Finn had heard people howling every now and then. He felt a guilty sense of relief wash over him. He slowly shook his head and walked to a seat at the back. Mercedes looked at him pointedly from her seat nearer the front. She shook her head slowly and turned around, and Finn suddenly recalled the conversation they had before he'd gotten in Quinn's car. He made a mental note to speak to Mercedes or avoid her totally, he wasn't sure yet. Slowly members began to filter in. Kurt bounded in, waved at Finn and then sat in the front row, next to his competition. Quinn came in with Santana and Brittany flagging her sides, she briefly made eye-contact with him, and then sat in her seat. Rachel entered just in front of Mr Schue flipping her hair and grinning with confidence, until she looked at Finn and a sombre look spread across her face. He should probably get around to talking to her and clearing things up a little too. He nodded to himself as Mr Schuester began to speak.

"Okay guys. I've had a real hard think." Mr Schue bounced on the balls of his feet and clapped his hands. Finn watched as everyone who cared leaned further forward in their seats, willing Mr Schuester to spit out what he was going to say. Instead of saying anymore, he grabbed a pile of papers off of the top of the piano and began to hand them round. Rachel's face fell as she read it.

"Mr S. There's a typo here. I only have one duet? Where's my solo? Should that say Rachel instead of Mercedes?" She shook her head in disbelief and Mercedes and Kurt squealed and flew at each other to hug. Quinn and Santana sat with smug looks on their faces. Finally the paper got round to Finn and he looked at it.  
Order:  
1st. Duet- Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel: Tammi Terrell and Marvin Gaye- You're all I need to get by.

2nd. Group-Leads: Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray: Dionne Warwick/ Burt Bacharach Medley.

3rd. Solo- Mercedes Jones: Aretha Franklin- Ain't no way.

Finn smiled at the list. He was glad his name was nowhere on it, and that for once everyone who wanted to was being allowed to showcase their talent. Maybe it was because he had taken a step back this competition? He didn't care anyway, and he took pleasure in seeing how happy his friends were.

Finn was so used to being one of the ones rushing around, being choreographed and practicing that he felt like a total spare wheel. He watched Mike and Brittany begin choreographing the second number with most of the group then wandered into the opposite classroom with Tina, who was measuring them all for their outfits, and listened to Kurt and Rachel begin practicing their song for a while. Mercedes opened the door gently as Kurt and Rachel were beginning to argue about a few notes and waved at Finn. He looked at her in confusion then pointed to himself. She nodded, so he hopped off the table and followed her. She began to walk quickly down the hallway and talk over her shoulder as Finn jogged to catch up.  
"I want you to come listen to me. I need some advice about the sound in the auditorium."  
"Okay…" Finn said. He had no idea how she walked so quickly, it was like they were flying through the halls. Suddenly Mercedes stopped. They were outside the boys locker room.  
"In." She said, pushing him towards the door and inside. It was empty and quiet, only the sound of a dripping tap interrupted the silence. Finn stumbled into a bench and steadied himself before turning to look at Mercedes who was now standing with her hands on her hips looking at him.  
"You have 30 seconds to explain yourself." She said sternly. Finn began to stammer, he had no idea what to say. She was obviously not going to let this go, so what does he do?  
He took a deep breath.  
"Okay." He said slowly. "What do you want to know?"  
"Everything." She said, folding her arms.  
Finn sat down heavily and began to spill his guts about all of it. He told her about the party and then about the months following and then about how it was nothing but then it accidently became something but nothing like physical or cheating, it was just a friendship and feelings for a dude he had never had before and then he told her about why Blaine was at the school and how he wasn't going to end it with Finn but thought it was going to come out so it was time to come clean and then he told her they hadn't spoken since and they wouldn't again. When he had finished, his body was shaking and his head was in his hands. Mercedes looked at him in disbelief.  
"How could you do that to your brother?" She said a little louder than either of them had expected.  
"I don't know." Finn shook his head which was still firmly planted in his hands. "But you can't say anything about this to him. Please Mercedes." He looked up at her with pleading eyes.  
"You can't tell him, he's moving on. I'm moving on. Quinn and I are dating. I just want all of this to go away." Mercedes slowly shook her head and was silent for a few moments, chewing her bottom lip.  
"I won't say anything, Finn. But Kurt has a right to know. One day soon you'll have to tell him and I hope all of these lies were worth it."  
Finn nodded gratefully and stood up Mercedes touched his arm gently and pulled him towards the door. "Come on."

"We're going to the Lima Bean. Join us?" Kurt said as he swung his bag over his shoulder and put his right arm through Mercedes' left arm. He looked around the room at everyone putting their bags over their shoulders and nodding. They all slowly filtered out and began the short walk to the coffee shop. Finn was walking with Puck, talking about their latest kills on Call of Duty, when Quinn sidled up alongside him.  
"Thought about it?" She said, looking up at him as she walked.  
"Yeah…" He said, looking down at her with a worried look on his face. He sighed. He had told Blaine that this wouldn't happen, but he'd told Mercedes it was happening and now he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He would do it, but somehow he would have to explain to Blaine before he found out and thought it was for real. He could reassure him it was only a cover-up to get everyone off of his back, and that he really only had eyes for him. Not that it should matter because Blaine was with Kurt anyway, and that wasn't changing in the foreseeable future, and even if it did…'Oh God' he thought as he tried to tame some of his racing thoughts from running away from him.

"I'm in." He said, somewhat questioningly. Quinn smiled wider and took his hand that was swinging by his side.  
"Good." Quinn said, squeezing his hand tighter as he made a mental note to text or call Blaine before anyone else could tell him.

As they arrived at the coffee shop, Quinn and Finn were the last of them to enter. Mercedes and Tina were already ordering their drinks and Mike and Sam were holding a group of tables they could all fit around. Quinn pulled him towards the table and dumped her bag on it.  
"You're buying." She said and poked Finn playfully in the chest. He nodded at her and walked over to join the queue. He glanced around lazily at the menu board, the glass case full of sandwiches and cakes and then towards the barista, who had finished giving Tina and Mercedes their drinks. The next customers stepped forward and Finn's eyes widened as he looked at who it was, Kurt was there with his arm gently resting around a figure in a Dalton Uniform. Finn's heart began to pound and his stomach flipped over. '_He's here. Oh shit he's here_.' Finn thought. '_why is he here? I'm going to blow chunks.' _  
He tried to steady his breathing and concentrate on his order. Finally after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling and ignoring his surroundings, and Blaine's laugh _'Oh god that laugh.' _Finn was at the front staring at the young guy asking what he wanted. He blurted out his order quickly and looked embarrassed as the server nodded slowly and moved away to get it ready. He didn't look at where Blaine and Kurt had gone, but he assumed it was their table, where they could sit with everybody else and talk. He tapped his fingers nervously on the counter and waited. He mentally urged the man the take his sweet time, but before he knew it the coffee cups were in his hands, he'd paid up and he was being nudged from the queue by Puck and Rachel. He could see Mercedes eyes following him as he walked around the table and sat at the other end opposite Quinn, as far away from Kurt and Blaine as he could be. But he had to do something or it would get awkward and suspicious. He got back up from his chair and began to walk over to the table with the sugar and milk on it, on his way he diverted, stood behind Kurt who was talking to Mike and squeezed his shoulder gently to say hi. Kurt looked up briefly, smiled at his tall brother and went back to his conversation. Blaine looked up at him, with those huge perfect eyes and smiled in a friendly way. The rest of the table were talking amongst themselves loudly, they probably hadn't even noticed when Finn opened his mouth to speak to Blaine.  
"Hey man. How's it going?" Finn asked, smiling, but not too broadly, just enough to be friendly but not make anyone think anything otherwise.  
"Great. How are you?" Blaine made the same effort to keep it casual.  
"Yeah, I'm cool." Finn nodded. Blaine was looking up at him. His face looked beautiful and bright. He couldn't believe that the guy who had told him he might love him over the phone last night was right in front of him. It felt surreal. Finn studied his face, forcing himself to remember it exactly how it was then, gentle and smiling.  
"Great." Blaine said. He nodded enthusiastically and slowly turned his attention back to Artie who was telling him and Sam about his ideas for a short film he wanted to work on. Finn slunk away, picked up some sugar that he didn't really want then returned to his seat next to Quinn.

Blaine's heart was pounding against his rib cage and he could hear the blood rushing around in his ears. Being this close to Finn felt exciting and dangerous. He kept trying to subtly catch his eye, but it was impossible, Finn was being stubborn and not even glancing towards his end of the table. He talked happily to Kurt's friends; they had all really warmed to him, especially Sam and Artie, with whom he could excitedly talk about comics and movies with. Blaine began to feel more relaxed, his heart slowed down until he began to notice Quinn leaning over Finn, touching his arms and lacing her fingers through his. He watched with his stomach in a knot as she ran her index finger down his jawline and pulled his face gently in to kiss his cheek and then his mouth. Blaine stood up from his seat, his head was spinning and he could hear the blood pumping again, but now it was for different reasons. He walked away from the table and towards the men's room where he had to try to collect himself. He was glad Kurt's friends were all so loud and too pre-occupied with each other to even notice him leave. Finn probably didn't even notice. He was too busy having his face sucked off by Quinn. Blaine found himself clenching his fists against the bathroom wall, his face pulled into a tight grimace. 10 minutes ago he had been so happy, just to be in the same room as that asshole, but now, and after last night, Finn must know he has the upper hand, he has Blaine around his little finger and he's playing with him. He's shoving it all back in his face, toying with his feelings and making him suffer. He pulled his phone from his blazer hastily, found Finn's number and began to punch words into a text message.  
"You're a liar." He pressed send and shoved the phone back into the inside pocket of his blazer and bent over the sink. He splashed water over his face, and gazed in the mirror at himself, watching the water drip from his nose and chin. He shook his head gently and looked back down into the water swirling down the plug hole. He picked up a few paper towels and rubbed them over his face to dry it. He was glad he was going back to his parents tonight, he could let out some of this anger and frustration on his punch bag, maybe he'd even go for a run. But first he had to make his excuses and leave. He wished there was a window he could just crawl through. Just as he was walking towards the door, it swung open just before he could get a grasp on the door handle. Finn fell through it, looking flustered and anxious.  
"Liar?" He asked, grabbing Blaine's arms and pushing him back into the bathroom. His physical force frightened Blaine a little, who moved backwards and took on a more protective stance, shying his face away and crossing his arms over his torso. Finn stepped towards him, but less aggressively now and holding his arms out pleadingly.  
"I'm sorry." He spoke quietly. "I didn't mean to…"

Blaine turned his face towards him and blinked quickly. "You _are_ a liar." He said in a low tone. "You told me you weren't seeing Quinn. You lied to me. You said all of these things and now you're just watching me squirm."  
"What? No, Blaine, it isn't like that." Finn looked confused, his eyebrows knitted and his arms thrown out in frustration. Blaine was the one squaring up to him now. He unfolded his arms and walked towards Finn, pointing a finger at his chest.  
"You know exactly what you're doing. You're playing with me. You let me say all that dumb stuff last night just so you could throw it back at me today when I see you with her."  
"What the hell?" Finn said, getting angry at the accusations being thrown at him. He couldn't look at him as he spoke. "You have no idea do you? No idea what this whole thing has put me through. I've barely slept or eaten or even spoken in the last week. I'm covered in bruises from being shoved into lockers, my face is bruised from fights. I was the laughing stock of the school up until today when everyone was howling at this one guy. And I'm the one playing games? I told you over and over…" Finn paused to lower his voice as he realised it was growing progressively louder. "I told you over and over how much you mean to me, and you told me over and over that you wanted to be with me, but you couldn't do it. You weren't strong enough to be honest with yourself and now I'm the one paying for it." Finn took a deep breath and finally made eye contact with Blaine.  
"Ok." Blaine said quickly, his voice shaking with anger and the tears forming in his eyes. "Okay then. That's how you feel then we end this now. No contact, don't even look at me again. I'll delete your cell number. I won't even say hi when I'm with Kurt. And you better stop checking my facebook and blog, because I'll know." He took huge strides towards the door. "I hope you're happy with Quinn and good luck at Regionals next week." He swung the door open, causing it to crash into the wall. "Bye, Finn."

Blaine stopped outside the bathroom door and straightened himself up, plastering his usual grin across his face and dabbing the heat away from his cheeks. He felt dizzy and tired, life and all the drama that comes with it was just exhausting. He walked over to the table happily and sat down next to Kurt, planting a kiss on his cheek as he did so. After a few moments he heard Finn's footsteps behind him. He watched from the corner of his eye as he walked back to his seat, Finn wasn't as good at pretending as Blaine was. His body looked tense and angry and his eyes were withdrawn and defeated. Blaine turned to kurt and placed a hand gently on his knee.  
"I should go. Walk me to my car?" Kurt looked surprised but nodded. They both stood up.  
"Are you guys going?" Tina asked.  
"I'll be back, I'm just walking Blaine to his car." Blaine said goodbye to everyone and walked from the coffee shop, holding Kurt's hand. They reached his car and Blaine stood by the driver's side door, looking at his boyfriend. He realised what a mess his life was. He loved Kurt, so much. Kurt had been the one who brought all of Blaine's best qualities out. Their relationship felt one sided a lot, but Blaine hadn't cared because Kurt was so grateful for all of the support and love Blaine offered. He was good looking, and sexy, but when he touched his hand, he didn't feel that bolt anymore. He didn't feel that 'so this is love, da da dee dum..' thing that Cinderella felt. But Finn, even when Finn was angry at him, or not even there, just thinking about touching him made his bones tingle and his stomach ache and the butterflies and the feelings.  
Kurt leant down and planted a kiss on his lips. His kisses were beautifully soft, but they also felt rehearsed and mechanic. He broke the kiss and Kurt looked at him confused.  
"Are you okay?" He asked and stood back a little.  
"I don't feel great. I don't want to give you anything."  
Kurt's smile returned to his face and he ushered him into his car.  
"Get plenty of rest, can't have you sick for regionals, can we."

* * *

Title is from Jukebox the Ghost- Somebody


	9. Chapter 9

**I was considering not updating today, but I don't want to keep you guys waiting. **

**I don't even have the words for how I feel about the news of Cory Monteith's death. I'm just so, so sad for Lea and his family and all of the Glee cast and crew and also my fellow Gleeks. One million and one hugs go out to everyone in this incredible fandom who is grieving today. You will be so sorely missed Cory x RIP. **

* * *

**Chapter 9. Case of you.**

When Finn got home that evening he felt incredibly frustrated, angry at himself, angry at Blaine and he had no idea what to do with all of these feelings. He tried shouting into a cushion, and that just made his face feel hot, he cried but didn't feel the relief that usually comes after a good hard cry, he tried killing people on his xbox, but other people's voices pissed him off, he tried playing his drums and it relaxed his body a little, but Kurt banged on the wall to shut him up and his head still felt wound up like a spring. So he sat at his small desk that was usually neglected in the corner of his bedroom and took out a plain school work book. Finn decided to write his feelings. He had never ever kept a diary or even a blog, but now felt like a good place to start. He wrote the date at the top and began to scribble:

"_Hey. Finn Hudson here._ _Some things have been happening lately and it has been really confusing. So I want to write some of them and try to make sense of some stuff. MOM IF YOU'RE READING THIS PLEASE RESPECT MY PRIVACY AND PUT IT DOWN. I've always been straight- I LOVE girls, they're so soft and they smell really great, but then I met Blaine Anderson. This guy, I have no idea what it is about him but he's not really soft, and he does smell great but he's my step-brothers boyfriend. Before he was, we sort of did a couple things at a party and then we got really close but he was already with Kurt so was off limits, but then we couldn't help ourselves and we talked to each other as if we could actually be together. It was bad and wrong and I would never ever want to hurt kurt. But I have urges like everybody and we all know how hard it is to control some of them. Today blaine told me he never wanted to see or speak to me again. I feel like I've been crushed like a bug. I feel like I'll never be happy again right now. But I guess the most important thing is that Blaine is happy. I shouldn't have gone at him like that, but this whole thing has been so stressful, and he just wouldn't tell me what he wants from me. I'm so confused right now. But I know there's one thing I have to do and that is say sorry to everyone. Blaine has made me realise I've been a jerk and that's not fair. I'm going to break it off with Quinn.  
Finn." _

The rest of the week the glee club was fraught with tension. Rachel refused to talk to almost everyone except Kurt because of the solos denied to her. Quinn was ignoring Finn since he broke it off. Mercedes still wasn't talking to Finn and she had been avoiding Kurt too. Finn was avoiding Kurt, Sam wasn't talking to Finn or Quinn, Brittany wouldn't talk to Artie and there were more and more arguments coming out of the woodwork every day. Finn wondered how they were all even going to make it to Regionals, let alone perform. It had all blown up over facebook on the weekend when someone had posted a picture of someone else looking ugly and wouldn't untag it, so it turned into a glee-club massacre. Old arguments were dragged up from last year, new ones were picked and now the glee club was in tatters. When for the fourth day in a row Mr Schue entered the classroom and everybody was sitting in silence, looking away from each other, he decided to act.

"What the hell is going on with you guys?" He yelled. "Quinn? Artie? Why are none of you talking?" Neither one responded, so Mr Schuester shook his head and walked to the piano.  
"I don't care what is going on in here, who isn't talking to who, but you guys had better fix it before Saturday or we won't even bother performing and you'll be the ones who miss out." He stormed from the room, but they all remained seated. Nobody even moved until Santana turned to Rachel.  
"This is your fault." She scathed and suddenly the room burst into shouting and yelling and pointing. Before he even knew what he was doing, Finn was jumping out of his seat and standing in front of them all.  
"Stop! Stop! Guys... I don't know what's happened to us this last week, but we can't lose regionals. Not after last year."  
"Oh save it Finn!" Mercedes yelled. "You're the biggest hypocrite of all of us!" She slapped her hand over her mouth, shocked that she had been so abrasive.  
"Don't take this out on him Mercedes!" Kurt yelled back and Mercedes sank in her eat a little.  
"No." Finn said. He moved to the front of the room and stood there looking around.  
"No she's right, Kurt." He took a deep breath and began to speak to the group.  
"Most of the problems in this club this year have been caused by me." He shrugged. "And I am so sorry for that. I didn't mean to be such a jerk, especially to my brother, or to Rachel, or to Quinn or to Santana or to Sam, or to anyone else that I've argued with." He paused and looked around. "And because of that, I'm not going to perform with you guys on Saturday."  
"No, Finn. You don't have to…" Quinn cut in but he stopped her.  
"I'm not leaving Glee. You guys are like my family, and I'll still be there, wearing what you guys are wearing and shouting at the top of my lungs for you, but I don't deserve to perform alongside you all."  
"I'm sure we all appreciate the gesture. But, it's not necessary." Santana said.  
"I think Finn's right." Mercedes said. "Finn, I love you, but you have gotten on my last nerve this year. I don't think you deserve to perform at regionals. But I do think you deserve our forgiveness."  
"We'll be weaker without his voice." Kurt said.  
"You won't." Finn replied. "It's not like I have any solos and I can be useful in other ways. And you definitely won't be weaker without my dancing." He managed to crack a smile from most of them, and even a laugh or two.  
Finally the group agreed and Finn sat down. He felt relieved, apologising to them as a group, sacrificing his role in regionals, and they were all talking again, so it worked. He felt good to have finally said sorry, like a weight was off of his shoulders, but now there was just the small question of ironing things out with Blaine, as much as it hurt him to admit, it was time to end it once and for all, but on good terms. Finn couldn't push it, so he decided to wait for the weekend and hopefully bump into him at regionals.

"Just before our love got lost you said, I am as constant as the northern star and I said "Constantly in the darkness...where's that at? If you want me I'll be in the bar"… On the back of a cartoon coaster, in the blue TV screen light…" Blaine's fingers fumbled across the keys as he sang. It was the day before regionals and he felt heavy and dull again. His body ached and even singing felt like a strenuous task. "I drew a map of Canada oh Canada… with your face sketched on it twice... You're in my blood, you're my holy wine, you taste so bitter and so sweet… oh I could drink a case of you…Darling…" His eyes flicked up to where his friends were sitting, Sebastian was watching him intently, whilst the others, Wes, Nick, David and Thad ignored him and continued to shine their shoes.  
"…And I would still be on my feet, oh I would still be on my feet…I met a woman, she had a mouth like yours she knew your life…she knew your devils and your deeds and she said "Go to him, stay with him if you can, but be prepared to bleed"…you're in my blood, you're my holy wine…"

Sebastian didn't feel empathy often, in fact it was hard for him to do so, but seeing his friend this way hurt him. He wanted to shake Blaine and scream in his face to go get what he wants, but he knew Blaine wasn't like that. He knew Blaine would never hurt anybody for his own ends, he knew Blaine wouldn't talk to him about it properly either. He had been fine all week, studying, singing, being his old self a little, laughing and fooling around, but for some reason the closer it got to Saturday, the more down he became, he had complained to Sebastian about having headaches and feeling sick. Sebastian had seen Blaine through break-ups before, he had seen him at his worst when he first came to Dalton and was so withdrawn and painfully shy, but he'd never seen him like this. Sebastian knew what was going on was hurting him, but why was it affecting him so much physically as well? His usually olive skin looked pasty and tired, and the glint in his eye and smile was gone. Sebastian walked up to the piano as he watched Blaine finish his song and hang his head into his hands.  
"B? Are you okay?" Sebastian nudged his shoulder and Blaine's head shot back up.  
"Yeah I'm fine, just really tired." Blaine stood up. "I'm going to go to bed." Sebastian watched him leave the room and half stumble to their dorm. He shook his head as he sat back down with the others.  
"Guys." He said, leaning back into the sofa. "I'm not sure if Blaine is going to be able to perform tomorrow." He wrung his hands as the others began to question why and shrug off his concern.  
"He's just tired. He had two tests this week and all of this practice. I think I'd be the same." David said.  
"He has been really quiet, maybe something happened with Kurt?" Wes suggested.  
"He looks sick. Like, sick sick." Sebastian said with his eyebrows knitted together. "Can we come up with a plan just in case?"  
They agreed and came up with some alternatives if Blaine wasn't able to perform, although they all decided him feeling sick was nothing that a night's sleep and a strong coffee wouldn't fix.

The next morning Blaine woke with a pounding headache. He took some Tylenol and began to get ready in silence, letting Sebastian sleep for a while longer.  
"Are you okay today?" Sebastian asked as he got up and watched Blaine sit in his computer chair with his head leaning over the back.  
"Uh huh." Blaine said, he leant forward and put his head in his hands. The light felt too bright.  
"Are you sure? You can stay here you know." Sebastian said, walking into the bathroom to get ready.  
"Really, I'm fine." Blaine said as he got up and went in search of coffee, hoping it would straighten him out a little. No matter how hard he tried to jack himself up, he just couldn't. He was packed with caffeine but on the bus to McKinley, seeing Kurt and a few of his friends, even brushing his teeth that morning had felt like so much more effort than it was worth and it was all a blur.

The morning of sectionals and Finn had woken up with a cold sweat pooling on his forehead. He had had a rough night, he was nervous about sectionals, facing the warblers, but mostly seeing Blaine and talking to him. His stomach hurt and he had a speech rehearsed in his head, something to tell Blaine how sorry he was.

Finn sat down in the auditorium in the aisle seat. He'd been helping everybody all day, running from room to room, fetching water and ice and sewing kits and polishing shoes. He felt grateful to be sitting down for a while, and of course he was looking forward to the first performance from the Warblers. There was something about their performances that he loved, they were real showmen, and of course he got to look at Blaine without raising suspicions.

When they were filing onto the hot stage, Blaine knew something was wrong. This wasn't emotional anymore, it was physical. The lights were dimmed but felt painfully bright and the crowd sounded so loud. Blaine shook his head at Sebastian who was looking at him. He plastered his most convincing smile on his face and begged his body to co-operate with him.

The curtain lifted and the lights on the stage went up. The warblers stood in neat rows, their blazers and grey trousers neat and every single one of them had a grin on their face. Suddenly they began harmonising and Blaine's voice emerged from the centre of the group.

"Ride, ride turn off the light, we're gonna lose our minds tonight, what's the dealio?" He jumped into the middle of the stage and Finn was mesmerised. He made sure not to stare too intently, but considering the last time he had seen Blaine he had been so angry ago he couldn't help but look. Blaine looked different, a little thinner than last week, his grin wasn't as natural as the others and his olive skin looked pale and slightly sweaty under the harsh stage lights. He shifted his gaze alternately between each warbler and then back to Blaine, so it didn't look like he was staring, although Kurt was in the seat in front of him, so he wouldn't have known. But he knew the New Directions were still all secretly wary of him, especially Mercedes.

The first song came to a close and earned a standing ovation from the crowd, New Directions included.

They began their second song, it was entirely different.

"Now and then I think of when we were together..." Blaine sang and Finns heart leapt from his chest. If he was singing to anyone in the room it must have been Finn. He looked down at Kurt shifting slightly uncomfortable, unsure why this song had been chosen, but Blaine sang it so incredibly it didn't even matter.

Blaine's eyes skimmed the crowd from the stage, it had been difficult during the first song, with all the movement and flashing lights, but now he could see them more clearly. He saw Kurt, sitting in the audience beaming proudly at his boyfriend.  
"Now you're just somebody that I used to know..." He shifted his gaze from Kurt and suddenly it fell on Finn. He felt his stomach lurch and almost lost it, but luckily Sebastian stepped in for his part of the song "Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over." he sang. Sebastian had a great voice, if only Blaine could concentrate on that and not Finn or how dizzy he felt. They held eye contact for an awkward amount of time, neither wanted to shift. Kurt was still beaming; thinking Blaine was looking at him. But Finn knew, he could feel his eyes boring into his, he could tell there was something wrong with Blaine, and that he was asking Finn for help. Surely someone would notice that look, and the thin walls they had all built back up would be knocked down once again. The song ended and Blaine looked pained and breathless. He whispered something to Sebastian and discreetly left the stage. No one but Kurt and Finn seemed to have noticed. The third song was sung by the tall thin warbler as a solo, and Blaine had disappeared entirely from the stage. Kurt looked concerned but continued to sit and watch Sebastian perform. He was sure Blaine was fine, maybe it was stage fright, but he'd check on him after, just in case. Finn on the other hand, he couldn't wait. Suddenly he stood up and began clapping along to the beat of the song, soon the whole auditorium had joined in and he could slip out without being noticed.

Blaine found himself stumbling through the empty halls of McKinley, trying to find a bathroom or that locker room or even the choir room. Somewhere he recognised. He couldn't recall where they had spent their time warming up. He felt dizzy and faint so decided to sit on the floor for a moment, by the lockers, and maybe have a nap. He'd been there a few minutes when Finn came jogging down the hallway looking for him.

"Blaine?" The words resonated in his ears. "Blaine? Are you drunk?" He felt hands grab his shoulders and shake him. He blinked hard and realised it was Finn. He tried to stand up but his legs wouldn't let him.  
Finn placed a hand on Blaine's head like his mom did whenever he felt sick. His head was boiling hot.  
"Come on." He pulled him to his feet and placed his arm under Blaine's to support him. Almost all of Blaine's weight was against his body, and his head was tucked under Finn's chin. Finn moved forward, trying to get Blaine to walk a little and he was trying, but it was like his legs weren't co-ordinated with his body.  
"Blaine, talk to me please." Finn said, slowly guiding him towards the nurses office and teacher's lounge, where someone who could help them would be.  
"Fum." Blaine's eyes were rolling as he spoke. "fum I lage juice."  
"Yeah, juice is awesome." Finn replied. "More importantly, what happened to you?"  
Finn had to stop for a second to move Blaine more into his body. He felt Blaine reach his left arm across his chest to reach Finn's hand that was tucked under his armpit holding him up. Blaine couldn't reach, so he curled his fingers into Finn's shirt, trying desperately to support himself whilst muttering what sounded like random and confused words.  
"Blaine, come on dude." He began to move again. The smell of Blaine and the feel of him against his body were super distracting. Finn had to make a decision; it was taking longer to get Blaine to someone, so he'd have to get someone to him instead.  
"Blaine, I'm going to have to get some help." He said, leading him into the nearest classroom and helping him onto a chair.  
"Wait here." Finn's voice was shaking as he tried to move away from him.  
Blaine threw his head back, his eyes looked into Finn's, they were frightened and pleading and his hands clutched his shirt fabric tighter. Then, the moment of clarity was gone, and Blaine was muttering ramblings under his breath again. Finn pulled his fingers away and held onto his hand momentarily before letting it go and stepping towards the door.  
"I'll be back really quick okay? Keep talking to me." Finn ran through the door and out of the room, bounding down the corridor to where he knew he would find a teacher to help him. He was terrified but the adrenaline he felt was pushing him.  
"Mr Hudson! No running in the halls." Coach Beiste stepped out of a doorway and he ran to her, grabbing her arm.  
"Please. Coach. Come." He gripped her arm and dialled 911 as he ran with her back to the room where he left Blaine. When they arrived he thrust the cell phone into her hand and went to Blaine and knelt in front of him.  
"Please coach. He's sick. He needs help." Now the tears were beginning to well up. Blaine's head was slouched forward and his muttering was quiet. Finn placed his hand under his chin and raised his head to look at his eyes. Coach Beiste gently moved Finn out of the way and placed a hand on Blaine's head.  
"He has a really high temperature and he's disoriented and pale…uh huh. McKinley High School. His name? Finn, what's his name?"  
"Blaine, Blaine Anderson." Finn said quickly, taking Blaine's hand and holding it tight.

* * *

Title song is "Case of You" by Joni Mitchell. Listen to the version by James Blake on Youtube, it's glorious.


End file.
